A New Perspective
by Germanlovely
Summary: The twists are many, and the story is only heating up!
1. Chapter 1

**_"I have to go to my daughter", I think as I slide behind the wheel of my Jeep. I need to get to her and fast. I look over to see my mom slide in the passenger seat and I slam the car into drive. I make my way to highway 6 and I am speeding as I am trying to get her before the flood takes the school. I know my husband and father have my other child and they are safe and waiting. Suddenly, I see the road beginning to flood ahead of me. I make the stupid decision to drive across and I immediately get swept away. I get out of the car thinking I could swim across to get to the piece of land off to the side. Then ice comes rushing down the street. "I can do this", I think to myself. I have been swimming my whole life; I was more than confident I could make it. My mom floated up beside me and I drag her with me. I don't realize that the ice is starting to swirl, and I am swimming in circles. I start going numb and I realize I am going nowhere. That is when I give up and die…_**

I awaken with a start. This dream has been haunting me for three years now. I try to calm my self. "There is no ice holding me back, there is no flood taking over the town. When am I going to stop dreaming about being trapped and dying." I say out loud to myself. I pull myself out of my bed and find that my husband is already at work. He has been working non-stop everyday and almost every night. I feel lonely and neglected.

Even when he is home, he is not "home". He never makes time for the two of us, even in the bedroom.

I wake my girls and start my shower. We get ready for school in silence. I take the girls to school and head off to the high school where I work. I am in my own head again and don't hear Tuesday calling me from behind.

"Hey Shank, wait up!" she calls, as she runs behind me.

"Hey Tues, I'm sorry, I was in my little world again. What's going on?"

"Oh, just the best opportunity in the world!" Tuesday shrieks.

I smile politely just wanting her to move along. "What opportunity?" I ask not really interested. Tuesday pauses for dramatic effect, "Well, I just saw a job opening on the Internet looking for an English teacher in Alaska! Isn't that wonderful?"

"I thought you weren't interested in moving off since Abel has his family here." I say, as I walk into my classroom.

"I'm not silly, but you are. You have always wanted to move out there. You can't tell me that you have lost interest. I have known you since fourth grade, and I know you wouldn't pass this up." Tuesday said as she sat on the corner of my desk.

I give her a "you are crazy" look. "I gave that up when I married Paul. Remember him? He wouldn't want to leave Mississippi."

"That's just it, you see, I have been watching you over the years and I know you aren't happy. Don't you think that you should at least give it a try?"

"Give it a try? Tues, I know you are just being my friend, but I just can't pick up and leave like that. This is my home."

Tuesday looked at me impatiently, "You know, you have always wanted to go up there. Why not book a trip up there and relax for a few weeks during the summer. What will it hurt? You and Paul take separate vacations anyway. You go to Alaska while he takes the kids this year on that cruise he wants to go on. Just think about it will ya?" she says as she sashays out of the room.

"I will think about it." I sighed as my students start trickling in.

I did think about it. I thought about it all day long. I couldn't get it out of my head. Good thing I assigned testing all-day or else, the students would have noticed and taken full advantage. I couldn't help but think that maybe Tues was on to something. I knew I wasn't happy here or in my marriage. Even my dreams were telling me that I wasn't happy! Maybe I will go home and have a long talk with Paul. It wouldn't hurt, right?


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, I sat in a coffee shop with Tuesday trying to wake up from a long night talking with Paul.

"He said he wanted a divorce! As soon as I said great opportunity and Alaska, he shut down and didn't want to talk anymore. He'd said he thought that since I stopped talking about Alaska, that I had not wanted to go anymore. He did not want to go with me and if I wanted to go so bad, I should go and not come back. Seriously Tues, I have never been so shocked in my life. It sounds as if he hasn't loved me for a long time. "

"Maybe he hasn't, Bailey. What are you going to do, lay down and cry about it?" Tuesday sighed in half annoyance at the situation. "You should apply for that job in Homer and see how it goes."

"You know Tues, you are right. I think I will. It is time that Bailey Shank started her life over!"

We downed the last of our coffee and walked out. We had finals to prepare for and I also had a resume and application to send in. Suddenly, I felt optimistic about my life.

But an unsettling thought crept into my mind, "What do I tell the girls?"

* * *

><p>"I need to find the fish, this is just not working for me." Johnathan thought as he cruised around on FV Fishing Fever towards another spot in Cook Inlet. "As a matter of fact, nothing is working for me lately." Johnathan pulled his gillnetter up to an old favorite fishing spot finds the fish and sets his net. "Enough with this thinking, this is going to get me killed!" he thought as he whipped the boat around to trap the salmon.

A little while later as Johnathan pulls his net aboard and finishes filling his boat, he heads back to the cannery to off load and try to be the first one at the fishing camp.

"I just want a few minutes alone with my Crown and hot dog before Russell comes along talking non-stop." He muses to himself. No such luck, Russell had made it in early, but he had a beautiful blonde keeping his mouth busy for the moment. "Just as well, I wasn't in the mood to listen to what ever Russ had to say right now." John muttered to himself as he saddled up to the burn barrel to burn his hot dog. John was done eating when Russ finally came up for air.

"Hey John, what's eating you?"

"Nothing, but I see who has been eating you. Tell me you brought me a lady too."

"Nah, the way you have been turning ladies down lately, I thought I would take one myself!" Russ motioned at his date with his head. "She's a real fire cracker, that one! Too bad you turned her down last week."

"I didn't turn her down, Russ. I decided it was time to go home… alone…"

"Sure John, whatever you want to tell yourself." Russ said as he walked back to his date.

To be honest, John wasn't very interested in anyone at this point. They were all the same. They were all too girly, they all wanted to stay home and play house, and most of all they all wanted him to quit crabbing as soon as they got their manicured nails into him. He was tired of it. Tired of all the women he ever knew trying to marry him and trying to change him, and dang it, he liked who he was!

Russ came up for air again and John settled down against a log and pretended to sleep. The other guys showed up an hour later, but John still wasn't in the mood to talk. He threw the dart at the van that determined where he was going to fish the next day, hit his target again in the lower region and took off to sleep on his boat.

"Maybe tomorrow I can fish without inner demons attacking me." He sighed and settled in for a restless night.

* * *

><p>I sat in front of her computer waiting for her Skype interview with Homer High's principle and superintendent. I thought it is strange that business was being conducted in this manner, but thought that maybe semi casual is how they do things in Alaska. No matter though, I was just delighted to be in a dress top and sweat pants during an interview. "As long as they don't ask me to stand up, I will be fine." I thought with a smile as the interview started.<p>

As the interview ended, the superintendent and principal offered Bailey a job and gave her until the beginning of August to move to Homer. Bailey took the job and ended the interview and ran circles in her house screaming at the top of her lungs. "I am going to Alaska!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When I get to my new apartment that I rented online before I arrived, I looked out at the view.

"I am finally home. I made it just like I said I would." I sighed to myself.

I got to work quickly on organizing my things that were shipped here last week. I had the landlord let the movers in and drop off my things. I wanted to get everything done before my girls got here from spending the summer with their dad. They weren't too pleased with moving all the way to Alaska, but they will adjust in time. I was sure of that.

After I unpacked and organized a few rooms, I walk outside and I look at the view of the Katchemak bay and the mountains from my front yard. I instantly get goose bumps from the sight I have waited all my life to see. I realize it is better than I could ever imagine. It is an overcast day, but I am still happy to be here. I walk from my place on Bartlett Street to the coffee place "All Hopped Up". I buy a large coffee and head back to my place to relax. I am going to need some quiet and relaxation time now, because in 5 days, the girls arrive.

* * *

><p>The girls were on time. They slowly walked out of the terminal and gave me a hug. They have an attitude already. I can see it written all over their faces.<p>

"Girls, I have some fun already set up for us! I have two days until I start work, and I thought we could go four wheeler riding around Beluga Lake today."

The girls' eyes instantly light up. "Yes! Then we could go to the beach, I want to see if I can find some sea glass like we did in Seattle a few years back!" exclaimed Cara.

""Yeah, mom, can we?" asks Emily.

"Of course we can, girls. We can do a lot here! There is a lot of fishing and hunting and a bunch of out doors things to do." I say, getting excited by the minute.

I can tell that the girls will be just fine here. They will love every minute of the rest of their time here. We get to the luggage claim and collect their things.

"Oh, and girls, you have your very own rooms now. No more sharing rooms!" I tell them as we leave. They scream with joy, turning quite a few heads.

* * *

><p>The town was buzzing about the new arrival. "She is medium height, long brown hair, and man, she is hot!" a fellow fisherman was saying. "I hear her name is Bailey and she has two teenagers. They were riding four wheelers around by Beluga Lake yesterday. Her girls are pretty too. I will have to keep a close eye on my boys!"<p>

John listened at the bar for a while with little interest. "Probably another girly-girl trying to fit in with the boys to find a husband. She will calm down once she gets her man. Then bye-bye romance and cool girl."

John slid off the stool and walked out of Duggan's into the cool Alaskan air. He walks to his truck with a lonely heaviness to his heart. Ever since he left Seattle, Gia has been calling him non-stop. She says she is sorry for cheating on him and she will never do it again. "I don't believe her," John thinks to himself. "I guess this is what I get for cheating on a girl a long time ago. I felt terrible for doing that, but you can't change the past. I don't blame her for the way she left either. "

He rounds the corner while in thought and runs right into a small object in his path. "Hey, watch where you are going, man. Are you trying to kill me? You are way to tall to be walking around not paying attention!" Bailey complains while rubbing her nose. John stares at Bailey for a moment, caught up in her beauty and her weird colored eyes. "I am so sorry, I should have been paying attention. My name is John. What is yours?"

"Bailey, my name is Bailey." I said with a sniff. "I didn't mean to snap at you either. You just surprised me."

"Let me buy you a drink, Bailey." John said. "It will take your mind off of your injury and maybe we could get to know one another. I hear you are new in town."

"Why yes, I am new in town." I said. "But…I am meeting some friends here in a few minutes and you look like you are on your way out. Maybe some other time?"

"Sure" says John as he backs away letting me pass. "See you around."

I wave as I pass. There is no way I am getting involved with that!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"I should have never asked her out. I'm not interested in a relationship right now. What the hell was I thinking?" I thought to myself. Salmon season was over and the Captains tour is about to take me to Australia. I have a week to pack and all I want to do is sit around and relax. I just hate that mom asked me to go to the Spit for one last autograph session before I leave. I love my fans, but I get bad hand cramps and I have to smile for photos. I haven't felt like smiling since I got home from Seattle about a month ago. Another crazy thing, I can't get my mind off of Bailey. I can't forget her porcelain skin under her waist long brown hair. Her beautiful honey colored eyes was mesmerizing. I shake my head to try to get her out of my mind. I can't think about her right now, I have things to do!

Two hours later, I am outside by the crab pot outside signing more autographs. I am posing for pictures when I see her. She is just as beautiful as I remembered. As she gets closer, I try to wave to her so she will stop and say hello, but she turns off of the board walk and walks across the street. She acted like she didn't see me. I think, "What the hell?"

* * *

><p>I see John waving at me as I walk down the boardwalk towards the restaurant where I am meeting my girls. I don't want to see him. I have been avoiding going places where he just might end up. I am a fool to think that he wouldn't be around the Time Bandit store. In fact, I have been thinking that there is really no sense in going out onto the spit. He will more than likely be there on any given day, and really, the spit is mostly for tourists anyway.<p>

I also wonder why I have been avoiding him. We met only once. If I ever did want a relationship, there would be no risk of marrying again. I can't help but think that I should give him a try, at least be friendly with the guy. But after meeting my friends at Duggan's and hearing about his reputation, I am having second thoughts about my second thoughts…

I sat down with Cara and Emily and immediately ask how their day was. All I get are typical teenager attitudes and half answers. As the waitress takes our order, I see John walk in. I groan inwardly. I can't help but think that I hope he doesn't come over here. I haven't seen the girls much in the last two days, and I hope to catch up with them. I place my order of a cheeseburger and fries and an ice cold Coors to relax me. After dinner, the girls and I head to my car to get a movie. All I want is to have a nice night watching a movie. I spot him just a little too late. He's leaning against his truck watching me with my girls. I try to ignore him, but my luck; I parked the Judge right next to his truck.

"Damn it!" I mutter under my breath. I nod to him as the girls get in and try to quickly get in before he says anything.

"Wait a minute, Bailey."

"Ugh…" I sigh, "What are you doing, stalking me?" Not so pleased that he is talking to me. He has bimbos everywhere, why talk to me?

"Bailey", John says, "Why did you ignore me this afternoon? Why not just wave?"

"I didn't want to encourage you. I am not interested in a relationship or anything you have to offer. So if you will excuse me…"

I slip into the Judge and drive off before he can say another word. I felt bad, but he is just going to have to deal with it. I am not someone he can use up and throw away. I had enough of that with the ex. He always used me and when he had no use for me, he would ignore me. It got so bad, that I was barely living when he asked for a divorce. I am still just trying to learn to live again. I don't want another man doing the same thing my ex husband did. I just simply won't live through it.

* * *

><p>"Wow.." John said. "I have never been turned down like that."<p>

It made me want her more. Something about her drew me to her.

"Was it the way she kept turning me down without a second thought? I only want to talk to her. She won't give me two seconds." He sighed to himself.

I got into my truck and headed towards home. As I turned off of the spit, I saw her car. It was the only orange GTO with black racing stripes in Homer. In fact, it was the only GTO in Homer. I followed her down the Sterling Highway and on to Main Street. She parked outside of Homer Theatre and got out with the girls. I got out and approached her.

"Bailey, please. Talk to me. I swear I don't bite." I said grinning.

Bailey turned around with a frown on her face. "John, I am trying to spend quality time with my kids here. Wait…did you follow me?"

"Yes, I did. I just want to talk, to see why you are avoiding me. Why won't you give me a few minutes?"

"John, listen, I am newly divorced. The man tore me to pieces with every year that I stayed. I am not and will not be interested in getting to know anyone right now. So I beg of you, drop this." Bailey begged.

"Alright, Bailey. I will give you space. I just want to be friends and welcome you to our town." Hell, it was a try. Maybe she will give in soon and be more than friends. But for now, I am willing to give her a try.

"Ok, ok. Friends. And only friends, I can't handle any more." Bailey said.

"Great, I will leave you alone then" I said as I went back to my truck. I couldn't help but feel hopeful that Bailey would come around.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"I need a mechanic, Bill." I say as I slide my purchases toward him. "The GTO needs an oil change and I can't get the bolt loose! I'm such a weakling!"

Bill, the manager of the general store laughs at my quip. "I heard there was a new mechanic in town. He said his name was Nick or something like that…I just sent John there a few minutes ago. You should check the guy out." He hands me a card with the man's name and address on it.

"I think I might. Thanks, Bill!" I finish my purchase and stroll out. I reach my car and finally look at the card. "No way…this can't be…"

* * *

><p>I drive out to East End Road without thinking. I am stunned and at the same time in denial. "It can't be him, he would never leave his family!" I am nervous as I pull into the drive. I get out of my car and see John talking to him.<p>

"I think you are following me, Bailey." John's face lights up.

I pay no attention. My gaze is locked with the one person I thought would never see again. He grins and crinkles his sky blue eyes in instant recognition. He takes a step towards me and I fly into his arms crying. "Nicolas! I knew it was you! I can't believe you are here! I have missed you so much." I cry into his shoulder uncontrollably as he holds me rocking slightly.

"Why did you leave with out a goodbye? I had to learn from Paul where you went to, and I just couldn't bear the thought of you up here all alone." Nick whispers into my hair.

"I'm sorry Nick, I never meant to leave without a word, and I was so hurt by the way Paul cast me aside. I didn't think to tell my parents either. I just packed and left without a word to very many people."

I look away and wipe my eyes. I look up to see John with the most hurt puppy dog look I have ever seen. He nods, turns away, and leaves without a word. I can't help but feel bad. For the moment though, I am going to catch up with my oldest and dearest friend!

* * *

><p>After two hours of catching up with Nick, and him helping me change the oil in my car, I can't help but think of John. "You know Nick, I think I am going to find John. I think we need to have a long talk. You don't be a stranger; you call me whenever you want. I will be around. See you Saturday? Beluga Lake, 4-wheelers, and beer?"<p>

"You bet, Bai. See you then!" Nick turns back to his work and I call John.

The phone rings and I jump. I look at the caller ID, and it is Bailey. I don't feel like talking to anyone, especially Bailey. "How could I have been so stupid? Of course someone that beautiful and charming would have a boyfriend." I down the last of my drink and pick up my phone.

"Bailey, I don't want to talk right now." I hang up the phone and turn to the bartender of Duggan's and ask for more Crown.

* * *

><p>Bailey closes her cell with a loud clap and sighs. There are several places in town he could be and I could miss him if I don't get this right. I feel the need to make sure he's ok. That look he gave me at Nick's garage almost broke my heart. If I hadn't been so excited to see my old friend, I would have followed John and explained. I didn't, and now I have to fix this.<p>

I think for a minute. There was music in the background. That narrows it down to a bar or his house. I have never been to his house, but I know better than anyone by now that from time to time he buries his troubles in a bottle. I also know he hates to be alone while drinking. I try Duggan's. His truck is out front. "Lucky you!" I sigh as I pull in to the space beside his car. Time to eat some crow…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I walk in to Duggan's and sit beside John, while not saying a word. We sit in silence for a few minutes as he finishes his drink. "You know," I say as I run my hands through my hair, "I think that it is going to rain tonight." Not knowing where to start, I give him a subtle opening into a conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend instead of leading me on?" John asks, his eyes distant and cold as ice.

I immediately become defensive. "I don't have a boyfriend, I wasn't leading you on. I told you I was only interested in being friends. He is just a friend…as if it is any of your business."

"Sure as hell could have fooled me! The way you ran into his arms, looked to me like you and he are more than just friends." John said angrily. He rises from the bar stool and pays his bill and starts to walk away.

"John, I don't know what you want from me. I thought we were friends. I thought that…" John rushes towards me, grabs my face and his lips crash down on mine. I forget what I am trying to say. His kiss is so soft, yet demanding. I lose myself in his kiss, his embrace. "Why did I fight this?" I thought as he pulls away slightly.

"Bailey, you know what I want from you. I want to be more than friends. I asked you out three seconds after we met. I really like you a lot. What is it going to take to get you to agree to be with me?" John whispers. His breath fanning across my cheek sending sexy little shivers down my spine. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

"You could have just kissed me…" I sigh.

"Lets go somewhere more private." He pulls me towards the door without resistance from me. He has me completely under his spell.

We slip outside and the cold Alaskan wind hits me. Suddenly, I am alert and focusing better, I start to panic. "John, wait. I can't do this right now." I plead; the panic in my voice stops him immediately. "I am not ready for this right now. Please understand, I have been divorced for only three months. I am not in the right mindset to get involved with you right now. That is why I want to be strictly friends for the time being."

"Bailey, Hun, I won't do anything you aren't ready for. Trust me. I just want to straighten this mess out so we can move on."

"I know. Come to my house. It is quiet there and the girls are gone to a friend's house, so there won't be any interruptions. Promise me you will behave and just talk?

"I promise." He shrugs and walks to his truck. "I will follow you."

* * *

><p>I walk in my house with John behind me and I immediately sense the change in atmosphere. Something is wrong and it shakes me to my bones. I walk in to the living room and see my ex-husband on a chair in the living area. I raise my hand for John to stop before my ex sees him. I square my shoulders and ask in a very low. Threatening tone, "What are you doing here? How did you get in to my house?"<p>

Paul rises from the chair with a cold, mean look on his face. "I am here to talk to you. You took my girls thousands of miles away and won't let me talk to them and now you ask me why I am here? What the hell, Bailey! Do you think that you can just keep them from me?"

"You never cared about them, all you cared about was getting what you wanted out of life and to hell with us. I haven't been keeping them from you; they just haven't wanted to talk to you. Every time you call it's not me hanging up on you, it's them. I am going to call the police and tell them I have an intruder."

Paul's face wrinkles in anger. "The hell you are…" He rushes towards me and grabs me by the neck and slams me against the wall. I hit my head hard and I see stars. Before I black out, I see John grab Paul and throw against the kitchen counter and start throwing punches.

* * *

><p>As we walk in the house, I see Bailey stiffen and appear to grow two inches taller. She raises her hand for me to stop and I oblige. Something about the way she reacted made me listen to her. She stops as she turns the corner to her living area and appears to grow an inch more. Her voice turns from sexy husky, to threatening and scary. Bailey asks some one, "What are you doing here? How did you get in my house?"<p>

The next I remember is a few policemen pulling me off of her ex husband and cuffing me. Bailey is sitting up talking to the paramedics and a policeman. I am put in the back of a cruiser and am told to wait. What seems like an eternity passes and I am pulled out of the car and uncuffed. "You are free to go, John. Your friend and the neighbor who called told us everything." The policeman walked back to his car and left. Paul was hauled off to the hospital unconscious and cuffed to the stretcher.

I walk over to Bailey, who is visibly shaking and wrap my arms around her. She melts in my arms crying. "I have never been so scared." She cried into my shoulder. "He has never been violent with me."

"Seems like you handled yourself just fine, sweetheart. I wouldn't want to be an intruder in your house. You looked really scary confronting him." I chuckled.

Bailey laughed and pulled back. I wiped the tears from her face and she smiled. "The girls are gone for the night, you want to come in for a while?"

"I couldn't think of anything else I would rather do…"

* * *

><p>I pulled him over to the couch and we both sat. "I want to thank you for rescuing me. No one has ever done that for me."<p>

"Any time…" John whispers and cups my face in his hands.

I move to sit on his lap facing him and he kisses me tenderly. He breaks away long enough to ask, "Is this really what you want?'

I smile a seductive smile, and lean in to kiss his neck. "Of course it is."

His kisses turn urgent and his hands are everywhere, taking my shirt off and throwing it on the floor. I moan with the pleasure of feeling a working mans hands on my skin. It is the right kind of rough with a soft caress. His touch is driving me wild. I move my hips in a slow rocking movement, over his erection. He moans with need as he palms my breasts with his hands and licks my nipples. I am shaking with adrenaline and need when he picks me up and lays me down on my couch. I tug on his pants to pull down his pants as he is pulling on mine.

He enters me and I instantly orgasm. He stops and smiles down at me. "Damn Bailey, this is going to be fun."

For the rest of the day, there was not a surface we wouldn't try. We only stopped for bathroom breaks and to eat and drink. By nightfall, we were beyond exhaustion. We curled up together in my bed and slept.

* * *

><p><em>I am dreaming again, I just know it..."I have to go to my daughter", I think as I slide behind the wheel of my Jeep. I need to get to her and fast. I look over to see my mom slide in the passenger seat and I slam the car into drive. I make my way to highway 6 and I am speeding as I am trying to get her before the flood takes the school. I know my husband and father have my other child and they are safe and waiting. Suddenly, I see the road beginning to flood ahead of me. I make the stupid decision to drive across and I immediately get swept away. I get out of the car thinking I could swim across to get to the piece of land off to the side. Then ice comes rushing down the street. "I can do this", I think to myself. I have been swimming my whole life; I was more than confident I could make it. My mom floated up beside me and I drag her with me. I don't realize that the ice is starting to swirl, and I am swimming in circles. I start going numb and I realize I am going nowhere. That is when I give up and die…<em>

I wake up gasping for air and I realize I am in Alaska and with John, not back home with the ex. I roll over and see John with his hair sticking up everywhere and he snoring softly. I think to my self, "Not again, I can't slowly drown again…"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I awoke to Bailey gasping for air. She rolls over and I pretend to still be asleep. I don't want her to think I was awake staring at her back tattoos and thinking about how much I wanted to find more. I feel the mattress move and I open my eyes. "Hey, what are you doing? Get your sexy ass back over here." I growl at her.

She stops briefly and smiles at me. "I'm just getting something to drink, go back to sleep."

I settle back in the bed and I finally fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>I pull my Southern Comfort from the cabinet and grab a shot glass from my collection. I need to calm my nerves. "This dream is killing me." I think to my self. "Was the dream because Paul showed up, or because I slept with Johnathan?" I down a few shots and return the bottle to its hiding place and rinse the shot glass. I know I won't be able to sleep, so I pull out my new Dan Brown book and try to focus on reading. About five minutes in, and I realize that I can't focus on reading, so I set the book down and sneak into my room to get dressed.<p>

* * *

><p>I get in my car and head to Duggan's just to be around people. I can't think straight with him in my house! The place is packed tonight. I see a familiar car in the lot and pull up beside it. Smiling, I walk inside to see my buddy sitting at the bar.<p>

"Nick! What the hell are you doing here?" I ask as I walk over to hug my old friend.

"Couldn't sleep. I thought a little night life might tucker me out." He smiles and hugs me back. "What are you doing here?"

"Maybe we should get a table for this discussion." I say. I turn to the bartender and order a drink. "Jack and Coca Cola please?" I grab my drink and we find a table in the corner.

I tell Nick what happened with Paul and a condensed version of what happened with John and the fact that I had the dream again. Nick sits there shaking his head. "I thought that after I left Paul, the dreams would stop. Maybe I dreamed the dream because he showed up? I haven't dreamed that dream since a few weeks before I left him."

"I don't know, Bai. You have to figure that out on your own. But I do have a suggestion…go see someone and talk to them about it. Tell them about everything that has occurred in your life. I mean, hell, after you told me what happened to you as a kid and how your husband messed up your head, **I** need a therapist to get over that shit!"

"You don't think that I know that, Nick? I know I need to. I am scared, man. What if it doesn't help?"

"It will help. I will pay for your drink, now get back to that man that looks at you like you hung the moon." Nick teases.

I grin and walk out the door to head home.

* * *

><p>John is awakened by a noise in the room and he looks up to see Bailey sliding back in bed. "'Bout time you made it back to bed." John says sleepily. "Hey, why do you smell like smoke? You don't smoke and you hate the smell."<p>

Bailey sighed and stretched, "Just go back to sleep. I'm exhausted and I really don't feel like talking right now"

"Ok, but tomorrow you have some explaining to do." John yawns and snuggles in close to Bailey.

* * *

><p>In the morning, Bailey is already up and in the shower. John can't shake the strangeness of last night. He keeps thinking about how she got up and didn't come back to bed until late. He obsessed over why she smelled of whiskey and cigarettes when she came back. Was she seeing someone else? Did she leave while he was asleep to meet with this other guy? What about Nick the mechanic, could she be seeing him?<p>

"Why do I care, we just had sex. That was all. She doesn't have to be with just me. We aren't exclusive." He said to himself. John just couldn't get these questions out of his head. He needed to go. He needed to think this through.

Just then, Bailey walks out of the bathroom fresh from the shower. "So, what are you going to do today?"

"Well, I have to go to Australia for the Captain's Tour in a few days. I thought I might get started on packing and closing up my house." John said as he pulled on his boots. He decides to wait to ask her all of those questions until he was ready. He had a feeling he didn't want to know.

"Ok. I have things to do as well and the girls are coming home today from their friends house. So, we might go exploring or something. Who knows what we may do." Bailey said as she pulled her sneakers on. "Maybe I'll see you when you get back. If you want…"

"Yeah, maybe." John said. He planted a kiss on her lips and left without another word.

Bailey didn't mind, she had more important things on her mind. She was going to try to get her life straight, and the first thing she had to do was talk to Paul. They had some unfinished business to deal with and the girls would love to see him as well.

* * *

><p>I walked down the hall towards Paul's room and stopped in the doorway. "May I come in?" I ask, quite unsure of myself.<p>

"Why not…" Paul grunted

He looked bad. John had broken his nose, busted his lip in two places, and broke a few ribs. He was sitting up watching the sports channel and looking a little loopy from the pain meds. Nick was sitting in the corner looking uncomfortable.

"I am going to check on my shop. I have a new guy working for me and I am not sure I can fully trust him yet." Nick said as he walks over and kisses my cheek. "Be nice, woman."

I smile at Nick and turn to Paul, sitting in the chair by the bed. "Well, uh…he did a number on you didn't he?"

Paul cuts his eyes towards me but doesn't say a word.

"I suppose you want an explanation why I chose Alaska over you. I don't really think that you deserve one now. I don't know what you were thinking, just breaking in to my house like that." I sigh as he turns his head to look me in the eye through his half swollen eyes.

"Bailey, I don't want an explanation why you left me. I knew that when you got the opportunity to leave, you would. I see why you chose to move here, it is beautiful here. I went crazy though, I thought you were keeping the kids away from me. When they didn't want to talk to me, I freaked out. I am sorry I over reacted. Nick brought the kids to me and they explained everything to me. If you will, please forgive me?"

"Paul,' I said while standing up. "I forgive you. I am not the one you should be making amends with though. It's the kids. You have never been there for them. You are only there when it was convenient for you. But at other times, you would ignore us. We didn't deserve that. And the mental crap you pulled with me…I never knew how to act around you! Now, I don't have to put up with that and I am happier. Listen, I have decided to not press charges on you. In return, when you get better I want you to leave and not come back here. We will still have the girls come see you every summer and you never have to see me again. Deal"?

"Deal." Paul said as he settled against his pillows. "Now let me get some rest."

I walk out without another word. I feel better than I have felt in a long time. "Now on to the more hurtful skeletons in my closet…"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Over the next few weeks, I visited a therapist. I rattled on about the abuse my father did to us. I cried about my brother molesting me when he was 13. I went through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder treatment and lost many hours of sleep. Paul was healing beautifully and bonding with Cara and Emily. He wouldn't talk to me, which made me worry. He had always had a volatile temper and since my father did also, I expected the worse from Paul, just like I did my father.

I couldn't help but wonder when the other shoe would drop…

* * *

><p>I haven't stopped thinking about what Bailey might be doing, or who. She has been on my mind and I can't shake the thought of her. I missed her smile. I missed her laugh, if she laughed at all. I started thinking that she seemed detached somehow. Like she was there, but…not. Her eyes at times would seem far away and haunted. She would do some dangerous things and when she came out alive; she almost looked disappointed that she was still alive. She is definitely a mystery to me.<p>

It bothered me that I was in Australia and her was still in Homer recovering. I worried he may come after her again. I sat in the green room trying to relax before the last show in Australia and some blond is trying to get me to come back to her place after. Unfortunately for her, I'm not paying attention. I'm too lost in the thought of the mystery of Bailey.

"Hey Brotha, you have been half here the whole time." Andy says as he and Sig sit next to me at the table. "What's on your mind?"

"Yeah, looks like you have a broad on your mind, man." Sig jokes.

"I have some things on my mind. I don't want to talk about it." I grunt out.

Just then the producer says, "We're ready for you, mates."

We head for the door, Andy and Sig following me. I turn to grab my cigarettes and I see Andy and Sig share a concerned look.

* * *

><p>I slip into my bed at the end of a long day at school and try to relax. My phone rings for the fifth time and I see John is calling me. I press ignore and turn off the light. I don't want to talk to him right now. He left in a weird mood the morning after we slept together and I didn't want to have to make small talk at the moment. I know that he wouldn't get back for a while. He still had some appearances to make and I still have some things to work on with the therapist.<p>

I really have one thing on my mind right now. Paul was released from the hospital yesterday and upon court order, he has to stay away from me and he has to stay in Alaska for two more weeks for therapy before returning to his home. I am really worried he won't follow through with the court order. He doesn't like to be told what to do, so I obsess on that fact and in the back of my mind I hope for the best.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I stand across the street staring into Bailey's window. She is lying in her bed staring into space. Her phone rings and she picks it up and appears to turn the phone off. She turns off the light and I walk away in the dark. <strong>_

_**She asked me to leave town as soon as possible, but the fact that I can work from home, helps me stay longer than the courts say to stay. When the next two weeks are up, the no contact order will be lifted and if I continue to play the therapist, she should clear me soon. All I keep thinking is, "Bailey will pay, and I will have my girls back."**_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I return from Australia and I am exhausted! I head to my Seattle home to relax and sleep off this jet lag. I think about calling Bailey, but I know she won't answer. I can't help but worry about her. But I have two more weeks of appearances before I settle in Homer for a few weeks and then I head out to Dutch. I will hunt her down when I return. We need to talk…

* * *

><p>For the next few weeks, the girls are busy with school. The first month is always busy, and for me too. They enjoyed being by their father's side this summer in Homer. They love their new friends, and they did not want to leave to visit him back home. I insisted Cara get a job on the slime line at the local cannery. She enjoys the work and enjoys the pay for now. Emily, though only 13, found a summer job babysitting for a few people in town. Emily visited with her dad a lot, but something seemed different every time she returned. Cara always came back angry with Paul. Wishing she never knew him. I can't help but worry about their relationship. They have never been close, but I have always been the referee and since I decided to step back I noticed them growing farther apart. It makes me sad for her, but it doesn't seem to bother Cara. She would rather him never come around. Emily is becoming less a daddy's girl too. She seems as if she drags her feet on the way out to see him. Strange, but I don't really care if they are close or not anymore.<p>

Emily walks in the door after a long afternoon with the neighbors' kids, "Mom, I know this is Dad's last week here, but can I just not go tonight? I have a paper due soon and Cara is already not going."

"Sure, sweetheart. Go ahead and call him. Make sure you let him know you have a paper you need to write. I don't want him blaming me." I say as I finish making an early supper.

* * *

><p>I landed in Homer and I head towards my house before tracking Bailey down. We need to talk. I am scared of this talk, I have never initiated this kind of talk and I really don't know how. I unpack and sit down for a few minutes. I fall asleep, and before I know it; I awaken to a beautiful day. "Crap! I didn't want to fall asleep!<p>

I get up and shower and head to Bailey's house. Something tells me I need to hurry.

* * *

><p><strong>Bailey is sound asleep. I have been watching her sleep for the last 10 minutes. "She can't help but keep those kids away from me." I thought with anger building. I squeeze the knife I have in my hand and walk to her bedside and stare down at her. I used to love her. Why did she leave? Why was she keeping the kids away from me? It doesn't matter now. As soon as I kill her, I am heading out of the country with the girls. They will never know. We will be so happy together…forever.<strong>

**Bailey stirs and I grab the rope I placed on her side table. It is time…**

* * *

><p>I awaken to someone watching me. I gasp in horror; Paul is standing over me with a rope and a knife.<p>

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way…but knowing you, the hard way." Paul says.

He reaches for me and I kick the knife out of his hands. He watches as it flies across the room and slides under my dresser. He sends a stream of curses towards me and slaps me hard in the face with his backhand. I fall against the bed and roll the other direction.

He is fast and on top of me hitting and kicking me hard. I hear a few bones cracking and I cry out in pain. He wraps the rope around my neck cutting off my air supply. Cara runs in and grabs Paul by the hair. He drops the rope in surprise and he knocks her across the room and she is out cold. That enrages me enough to find strength through the pain to kick him in the chest hard. Paul stumbles back into my dresser and I stand as he comes at me.

Emily comes in and screams and Paul stops. I crawl quickly across my bed and stand in front of her daring him with a hard stare to come in her direction. I hear pounding on my front door and I scream for Emily to go get the door. Paul lunges in my direction as Emily flees for the door.

Like a lioness protecting her cub, I jam the palm of my hand into his nose. His nose goes up instead of to the side. He looks surprised as I land another few blows to his groin, chest, and another upwards motion to the nose. Paul falls to the floor lifeless. I had killed my ex husband with the final blow to his nose. I hear something at the bedroom door and I turn to see John and Nick rush into the room.

Nick pulls out his cell and tells me, "Every thing is fine now, Bail. We are here for you."

John grabs me by the waist; I wince in pain and pass out in his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I wake up to my girls standing over me. "Typical…" I say. "Give me a minute and I will fix breakfast." I start to sit up and I fall back in pain.

"Mom, don't try to get up! You aren't well enough yet." Cara says as she pulls the covers over me. Emily nervously grabs my hand, "Mom, you are in the hospital. Dad broke three of your ribs and the doctors had to remove your spleen."

"Your dad, where is he?" Panic filling my brain.

"He's dead, mom. Remember?" Cara says soothingly.

"Oh yeah. I thought that was a dream. Where's John?" I ask.

"I'm right here. You are ok, relax." John says as he walks into the room, flowers in his hand. "I didn't know the girls knew nothing about me."

Cara grabbed Emily and they excused themselves from the room. "We will give you some privacy."

When the girls left the room, I turned to John and took a minute to collect my thoughts. "I know John, I wasn't ready to tell them about you. You acted so strange the morning you left; I figured you wouldn't show again. I didn't answer your calls because I didn't want to deal with everything long distance. I'm sorry if I acted strange. I am dealing with a lot right now. Please understand."

"Bailey, I understand. I really do. I thought it was strange that you came back that night smelling like smoke and you don't smoke. I didn't know what to think. Did you go off to see another man? I didn't know. I don't want to share you with anyone."

"Look John, I did go off to see someone. It was just Nick and no; I don't have feelings for him. He knows everything about me and he is my best friend. I was freaking out about how things between us were progressing and I went to Duggan's to have a drink. He was there and we talked. I felt better and I came back to you. I do like you a lot. I need some time to adjust and I need your patience. There is a lot I have gone through. There are things that I have not told you about my past that are very painful for me. I will tell you every thing, I promise."

"Ok, take your time, Bailey. I have a lot of time to hear it all. By the way, where did you learn all of those fancy moves I saw you pull off?"

"Well, after the first encounter with Paul, I saw a change in him. He looked as if he no longer cared about how his actions affected others. His therapist decided that he was just playing her and told the judge. Who at that point notified me to be cautious. I took Jujitsu classes as soon as possible. I wanted to defend myself just in case. They definitely came in handy." I sighed as I settled into the pillows. "John, I am tired. Do you mind if I just get some rest?"

"Not at all, sweetheart. I will be back later." He leans down to kiss me on my forehead as I fall asleep.

* * *

><p>The next day, Nick comes in to see me. "So, you are getting discharged today!" Nick says cheerfully.<p>

"Yep! I can't wait to sleep in my own bed. What's up?"

"I am glad to see you alive and well. Listen, Bail, I have something to tell you."

"Uh oh…" I say interrupting Nick. "What is going on?"

"Well, you know how Paul showed up at your house the first time?" He pauses to give me a sheepish look. "I told Paul where you lived. But I swear Bail; I didn't know he had gone off the deep end! I would have never let him know where you live if I had known he was going to hurt you."

"Nick, I know. You would never do that to me. Besides, if you didn't tell him, some one else might have. It is a very small town, you know."

Nick smiles and blushes, "Ok, I just didn't want you to blame me, that's all."

"Never." I say as I smile.

"Well- I am going to go. You come by and see me when those ribs heal and we will plan a hunting trip. Deal?" Nick says as he is walking out the door.

"Deal." I wave as he walks into the hallway.

* * *

><p>"Hey, John. I didn't see you there!" Nick says as he bumps into John in the hallway. "You here to pick her up and take her home?"<p>

"Yeah." John says. He stands a little taller his face a cold mask. "I have been meaning to ask you what your relationship is with Bailey. You guys are always talking and joking around. Even when you aren't talking, it is like you two have a weird bond that I can't explain. Have you two dated, slept together, I don't know. It is just driving me crazy and I am afraid to move forward with Bailey if you are seeing her or whatever."

"John, she and I have been through a lot together. Things like injuries, broken hearts, broken families, and now everything that has happened to her in her past that has been bubbling to the surface. I finally got her to go to a therapist to help with her posttraumatic stress disorder. I had been her support system when her husband was never there. There has never been any thing sexual and I don't think of her like that. She is like my little sister. You have nothing to worry about with me, but you will have a lot of walls to tear down with that one. She's a tough kid, but she needs that soft place to fall. If you aren't going to be that for her then you should walk away now. She doesn't need someone to cause more problems." Nick pats John on the shoulder and walks away.

"See you later!" Nick says as he walks out.

John stares after Nick wondering why he didn't know or see what was going on with Bailey. He sighs and walks to her room. The girls will be happy to see their mom; they are trying to get the house back in order before their mom comes home.

"Hey, babe." John says as he walks into the room.

Bailey looks up from her book and smiles. "Hey you! You ready to take me home?"

"Yeah, I am. I would much rather visit you at home than here. I have been thinking about spending my last week exclusively with you. I will have some time that I need to help get the boat ready to go to Dutch, but I think I would like to spend the rest of the time getting to know you better."

"Well, I think that would be great! I would love to get to know you better too." Bailey smiles sweetly. "Lets start by getting me home!"

The next thirty minutes are filled with busy work and at home instructions and getting ready to go home. Bailey was chipper and cracking jokes with the nurses and the doctor. She kept claiming she wasn't going to take it easy and she was going moose hunting tomorrow. As an orderly wheeled her out to the car, she tried to talk him into doing wheelies and running to the door. John knew that she was going to be just fine.

* * *

><p>As we get closer to Bailey's home, Bailey seems anxious. "I don't blame you if you want to ride around the block a little more. You look like you could use a little more time…"<p>

"No, I'm fine. I'm a little nervous about the girls and what they will think about my being with you." Bailey said quietly.

John reached over and grabbed Bailey's hand. "It will be ok. They seemed to like me when they met me in the hospital."

"That's right…" Bailey said with a thoughtful look on her face.

John pulled in to the driveway and turned the truck off. "You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's see how the girls will react."

John comes around to the passenger side and helps Bailey out of the truck. They walk to the front door and pause. Bailey opens the door and steps inside. The aroma coming from the kitchen was heavenly. They walked in to the kitchen and saw Cara and Emily sitting at the set table patiently waiting for the two of us. Cara and Emily stand and hug their mother and insist that we sit down.

"Before we eat, I have something to say." Cara looks at Emily and Emily nods. "Em and I have been talking and we think that while you should have told us about John, we believe that you are happier with him. You have been calmer and happy. So, if he makes you happy, then we are ok with you two." Cara and Emily smile at both John and Bailey.

"Well, you take after me don't you? Direct and to the point, you don't let the elephant stay in the room long do you?" Bailey asks smiling.

John sits back and lets out a breath. "Ok, well that went well. When do we eat? What ever you guys are making smells good!"

Cara smiles and walks to the kitchen to retrieve the pot roast and vegetables. "Eat up!" She exclaims, and sits to enjoy a nice dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>This is not the last of the book! I still have more to come! <strong>


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

We have a lively conversation with Cara about John's boats and crabbing during dinner. Cara has not been so talkative in quite a while. She actually smiled! Emily sat back and listened for most of the dinner, speaking only when spoken to. I watch her as she sits quietly, almost sulking.

"Mom, may I be excused? I have homework to get to." Emily asks as she grabs her plate.

"Sure, honey. You know I don't mind."

She takes her plate to the sink and goes to her room. I watch after her worried about her. Call it mother's intuition, but something is wrong with her. I fear that she is too traumatized after seeing her dad dead on the floor. Making a mental note to call my therapist first thing in the morning, I reach for another helping of pot roast. John wraps his arm around the back of my chair and I settle back to enjoy the rest of our meal.

"Ok, mom." Cara says as I finish my second helping and she grabs my plate. "I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes! NO PEEKING!"

As she walks to the kitchen, I chuckle and oblige my oldest. She walks back to the table and John leans forward and sniffs the air.

"Alright, mom. Open your eyes now."

I open my eyes to see my favorite dessert sitting in front of John and me.

"Mmmmm…cheesecake!" I grab my fork and dig in. John making appreciative noises as he digs in.

"Bailey, if you cook as well as these girls, I think I will stick around a while longer." He winks and grins his goofy sideways grin.

"I think you will be pleased." I joke as I finish off my slice of cheesecake. "This recipe is mine and I taught them everything they know."

John smiles and finishes off his slice. "Well, you need your rest and I need to get going. I will see you tomorrow. When do you go back to work?"

"I don't know yet. The doc said that if I am healing well, I should be back in a few weeks."

"Ok, I will be back as much as I can. We will be getting the boat ready to go crabbing. I don't want to leave you behind. I am just getting to know you."

I sigh and smile at John. "Don't worry about me, John. I will be fine. You do what you need to do and when you have time to come see me, I will be here…or somewhere. As far as you leaving to go fishing, I was fine before I knew you and I should be fine now. I know your job is dangerous, but there is nothing I can do about you being out there. All I can do is pray for your safety and go about my day here. As far as my safety, I have made friends here and I have Nick if I need anything. You just worry about getting your catch and coming back safe. Deal?"

"Deal." John smiles and leans in for a kiss before heading for the door. He turns back midway. "Do you need my help getting to bed?" He says with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"No, I am fine. I am going to talk to Cara for a while. If I need help, she will help me. Thanks though." I say as I catch on to his ploy, knowing he would take me to my bed and torture me with a long kiss. I grin and blow him a kiss as he grins and turns to leave.

1

The next morning, as I moved around the house and made a phone call to my therapist, I realized I felt much better. My ribs were healing nicely. Since the girls were in school, I decided to catch up on some daytime television before they come home. One show down, and I decide to go see if the paper had been delivered yet. I walk into the foyer and hear something at the door. Reaching for my rifle I had set down by the door, I steady it in my hands and open the door.

"Whoa! You sure know how to answer the door!" John said, clearly startled to see me at the door with rifle in hand.

"Sorry, John. I have been on edge since I returned home from the hospital. I can't seem to believe that Paul is never going to bother us again. It just seems so unreal to me." I sigh as I put the rifle back in its place.

"He's gone, trust me. I saw the coroner pronounce him dead." John runs a hand across my cheek and hands me the weekly paper walking past me into the foyer.

I shut the door behind him and sigh, "Well, I am one lucky girl to see you two days in a row."

John wraps his arms gently around my waist and kisses me. "I know you are lucky! There are a lot of people out there that want to see me more than they do" A slight twinkle in his eyes tells me he is being facetious.

"You know, I could choose to be annoyed by that statement. But I am way to happy to see you. Do you know how long it has been since we have had sex?"

"I think it has been too long. Wait, won't that hurt you? I don't want to hurt you." He said with concern flashing across his face.

"Don't worry about me, I'm a big girl. I will tell you if you are hurting me…" I give him a sexy smile and lead him to the bedroom.

2

As they enter the bedroom, John grabs Bailey by the hair and kisses her hungrily and clothes begin to fly. John finds one of Bailey's breasts and flicks a nipple with his thumb. Bailey gasps with desire and grabs John's shoulders digging in with her nails as he licks and bites the other nipple.

"More, John. More" Bailey sighs as she kisses his neck.

John picks her up and lays her on the bed. Bailey licks her hand and reaches for his cock rubbing slowly. His breath catches and speeds up slightly as he kisses her neck. Shoving Bailey's hand aside, he moves down to her wet core. He licks and rubs until she explodes.

"My turn" John growls in Bailey's ear.

As Bailey's body is still tingling, John settles between Bailey's legs and thrusts deep inside. Bailey cries out in pleasure writhing under him. John stops for a second, concern in his eyes. "I didn't tell you to stop…" Bailey says thrusting her hips up making him enter her even deeper. John smiles and continues thrusting. He reaches down and rubs Bailey's clit while thrusting harder, willing Bailey to cum first. Bailey's breath quickens causing her to frown slightly from the pain in her ribs as she climaxes one final time. Feeling the walls of her vagina tighten and pulse, John lets go and with one final grunt, shudders with his own mind blowing orgasm.

John falls on to the other side of the bed panting. "Wow, I have waited for that for a while" he laughs.

"Yeah." Bailey smiles as her eyes close halfway.

They both fall asleep in sexual bliss.

Bailey woke to John's snoring and turned over in pain. She got up, dressed, and headed for her pain pills. She knew she should have told him she was hurting, but the pain wasn't nearly as bad during sex. Bailey popped a sci-fi movie in the DVD player and settled in hoping the pain would go away soon.

The next thing she knew, John was sitting beside her fully clothed and watching the movie. "Why didn't you tell me that I hurt you?" he turned to her and asked with a little frown on his face.

"I didn't want to stop." Bailey said wiggling her eyebrows. "Besides, in the moment, I couldn't tell how bad my ribs were hurting. I will be fine. I have gone through worse. My dad would just tell my brother and I to "suck it up, nobody cares"." Bailey said with shadows of hurt for a second and then shadows of indifference. John caught the look in her eyes and paused. Bailey knew then that she had said too much. "Stupid pain pills…" she thought as she looked away.

"You have never talked about your family." John says a little surprised. "Why not?"

"Crap!" Bailey thought, closing her eyes trying to force the memories to go away.

"I don't want to. They have no place in my life right now."

"Bailey, please. You can tell me anything."

"I appreciate that John, I really do."

"But? You aren't going to tell me." John says with a sigh of frustration. He didn't like it when people didn't tell him things.

John rose from the couch and started walking to the door. "When you figure out if I am good enough to know about you and your past, then you come find me." He said as he slammed the door. Bailey jumped and winced in pain.

"I don't think I can tell you…" Bailey said to an empty room. "I just can't."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Damn it!" John thought as he marched out to his truck. "Why is she so secretive? What is she hiding?" John mused as he sped down the road, heading to his crab boat. There was plenty of work to be done to get her ready for crabbing. No time to think about problems with Bailey. "I just need to get busy. No problem with that. Besides, I have two weeks until I have to leave. Maybe she will come around." John thought as he pulled the truck up to the pier.

John climbed on to the boat and greeted his family and friends. "Hey Andy! Scott! Where have you been Mike?" John said as he shook hands with some and hugged Andy and Scott.

"I took my wife along on a few promotional tours for DC. I just don't spend enough time with her lately." Mike said with his usual smile on his face. "Where have you been? Spending time with your new pin cushion?"

John frowned and snarled, "Hell no. I have been just hanging around town."

John decided that was enough catching up and stalked off to find something else to do. He didn't notice Andy following him and jumped when Andy finally said something. "You know, I can see right through you. What is wrong with you? You have been very quiet lately. Is it a girl? You never get this upset about a girl…so that can't be it. Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to keep guessing."

"No, I won't tell you. I need to just get over it. Now please, let me get to work."

"Ok." Andy sighed as he walked away. Andy was clearly worried about John. He never acts like this. _"I hope he gets over this before we go out fishing."_ Andy thought.

1

As soon as John left, Bailey settled back on her couch. She was worried that John was gone for good, but the pain meds were making her too sleepy to care at the moment. So closing her eyes, she slept for the rest of the afternoon.

She awoke to Cara and Emily coming in the door. The girls were always loud and boisterous as they entered any room. They definitely took after their mother with that. "Hey, mom! How are you feeling?" Cara asked as she entered the room.

"I'm fine, baby girl!" Bailey smiled as she sat up slowly.

"Ribs bothering you a little today?"

"Yeah, I took my meds, but they make me sleepy. So I've been asleep all afternoon." Bailey says as Cara comes over for a kiss. "Hey Em, where are you going?" Bailey asks as Emily heads down the hall.

Emily replies grumpily, "Homework."

Cara and Bailey look at each other with a worried look that clearly said, "What is wrong with her?"

2

"_**How dare they act like nothing is wrong? You don't just kill some one and get away with it! I will get justice for this. She will pay Bailey will pay. I just have to figure out how or when." Sitting at my table, I try to map out a plan. "There has to be some way that I can get her back for what she has done…" **_

3

"Cara, Em! Come eat before dinner gets cold!" Bailey calls down the hall. Both girls come in the dining room and sit at their normal positions.

Conversation is easy and light with the exception of Emily. She is strangely quiet and distant. Bailey worries that the appointment with the therapist won't come soon enough for Emily. There has been a lot going on this past year. Including these past three months. First, her dad and I divorce, that couldn't have been very easy considering she was a Daddy's girl. Second, my yanking her thousands of miles away from her dad and putting her in a strange town and school. Third, with him attacking me twice, and my killing him in self-defense. No wonder the girl is unusually quiet.

4

After the girls eat and had gone to bed, Bailey needed a drink. Bailey called Nick and asked him to join her at Duggan's bar for a few drinks. Nick gladly accepted and they agreed to meet an hour later at the bar. Bailey put the phone back on the receiver and paused with her hand on the phone. For a few minutes, she debated calling John. He seemed pretty upset that she didn't want to share her past. Why should she? Why relive the pain and abuse she had been subjected to? No, she couldn't. Not with John leaving in a week or so. It would not be fair to saddle him with the sorrows of her youth and the anger of her teenage years. Besides, if he was going to react to her not telling him this, she didn't know if she wanted him to know or if she wanted him around. Bailey came out of her musings and went to take a shower. She had plans tonight with Nick and she didn't want to think that she was about to lose the one thing that made her happy. Bailey dressed and called for a cab to take her to Duggan's. She was feeling somewhat better, but John was still on her mind.

"Hey, you!" Bailey said in greeting to Nick.

"Hey stranger! How are the ribs?" Nick asked as he pulled Bailey into a gentle hug.

"Sore, but healing. How about you? I haven't seen you much lately."

"Yeah, since Paul's body went missing-"

"Wait, what?" exclaimed Bailey sitting up a little too fast for her ribs. Wincing in pain, she looked Nick in the eyes to see if he was kidding. "Why haven't I heard anything about this? Weren't you supposed to take him home? I know he wrote in his will that you are supposed to take him to his parents-"

"Bail, wait. Don't freak out! I made reservations for him to go back home and the car I hired to take him to Anchorage had an accident. The guy, the car, and the casket with Paul's body have not been found. We don't know where they had an accident, but there are people looking."

Bailey sat back with a wild look in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? Do the girls know? Oh, that's probably what is wrong with Em. Poor girl. She's been through a lot."

"No, Bail. Em doesn't know. This is all being done quietly. I don't want the media get a hold of this. For the sake of the girls."

Bailey sat back still visibly worried. "Since I've returned home, I feel like someone is watching me. Like someone is going to jump out of the bushes at me. This news is not going to make me feel any better. I will not rest well until I know he is 6 feet under." Bailey shuddered at the thought of him coming back and hurting her again, or worse her children.

Bailey and Nick sit and drink a few drinks and talk about the good old times. It felt nice to sit with someone who knows a lot about her. It took a long time for Nick to find out everything about Bailey. There were countless questions deflected and lots of silences, but Bailey finally felt comfortable to open up about the hard stuff. After that, they had a healthy friendship. Too bad Bailey didn't trust John yet with her past and the reason she never talks to or about her family.

After a good visit, Bailey decided to call it a night. "I should really go now, Nick. I have had way to much to drink."

"Let me drive you home. You shouldn't have to pay for a cab." Nick offered.

Bailey nodded an acceptance. "Thanks. I think I will take you up on that one."

Bailey and Nick pay their tab and start to walk out. "So, when I'm mad you run straight to Nick? Is this how it's always going to be?" slurred John from behind Bailey.

"No John." Bailey said as she turned around to find John glaring drunkenly at her and Nick. "We were just having a good time."

"I bet you two will go have a good time at Bailey's house after you leave here. Is this what you aren't telling me? Is he better than me?" John said as he moved in closer.

"I think I am going to go to the bathroom before we go. You two have a nice chat." Nick says as he walks away.

"Shall we go find a table in a dark corner somewhere please?" Bailey asked pleading with her eyes for John to not start a scene.

"No. I think I deserve answers."

"Oh you do, do you? You think that just because I don't want to talk about my past that I'm hiding other things from you? Well John, let me ask you something. Have you ever thought that my past is a painful one? That maybe, just maybe it is too painful and too hard to bring up? I have been going to therapy for a few months now trying to straighten my head out enough to even be with you. If you can't handle the fact that I can't talk about it right now, then you and I should not see each other any more."

Bailey with tears streaming down her face turned and walked out of Duggan's. John watched her walk out, speechless for the first time in a long time. Nick appeared behind John and grabbed his shoulder. "Maybe you shouldn't have pressed it. She wouldn't keep anything important from you. But what she has been through is really hard for her to tell with out her going into full panic attack. Be easy on her. When she is ready, she will tell you. Give her time."

Nick walked out behind Bailey and took her home. Not wanting to feel alone, Bailey invited Nick in for coffee. They both sat in silence waiting for the coffee to brew. When the coffee was done, they took their mugs in the living room and sat to watch a movie. They both picked an action flick and settled in. After about 30 minutes in, Bailey and Nick were yawning in unison.

"You want to stay in the guest bedroom? I will text John and tell him that is what you are doing so he won't flip out." Bailey asked. They had done so in the past and she saw no reason why it would be any problem.

"No thanks. I think I will just go on home." Nick said as he stretched.

"OK. I will walk you to the door."

"So, why is John pressing you about your past?" Nick asked as they headed to the door.

"I don't know. I wish he wouldn't push. It hurts so much to tell people what happened." Bailey said as tears started falling.

Nick grabbed Bailey to comfort her. "Bailey, please don't cry."

Bailey looked up in Nick's eyes, Nick still holding her. "Sorry. I don't mean to be so mushy."

"Shh" Nick shushes her as he, still holding her brushes hair away from her face. They hold their gazes for a few moments and Nick bends his head to let his lips graze hers. Surprising Bailey, her arms reached up and wound around his neck and kissed him softly. Nick's mouth soft yet urgent felt good to Bailey. The kiss deepened and Nick ran his fingers through Bailey's hair. His grip tightened around her waist and Bailey gasped in pain, breaking their embrace.

"Oh, Bail. I'm so sorry…" Nick said and he turns to leave without another word.

As Nick walks out, Bailey shuts the door behind him and leans against the door. She touches her lips with the tips of her fingers. "Oh, boy." Bailey thought to her self. "What am I going to do now?"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The next morning, Bailey woke up irrationally angry. She dressed quickly and left the house. She didn't know that John was coming to visit her and as she burned rubber out of her driveway, he spotted her and followed. Bailey drove as fast as she could to Nick's shop where he lived in a small cabin in the rear. She parked and walked with quick steps to his cabin. John spotted her marching behind the shop and parked. Bailey ran up the stairs to the cabin and started beating on the door. "Open up, you pile of shit!" Bailey screamed. "You can't hide forever, you might as well come on out!"

Nick opened the door, his curly hair standing up around his head. Bailey paused, and with fire in her eyes, started swinging at Nick. Pushing him through the living room and punching where she could while he blocked and ducked. Someone behind Bailey grabbed her around the waist and picked her up with ease. Bailey, kicking and screaming and cursing the day Nick was born was promptly carried out of the cabin. She was set on the ground and without hesitating she whirled on her captor. John backed away slightly and grabbed Bailey by the wrists. The questions and frustration swimming in his eyes disarmed her slightly. She then turned her anger on John. "What the hell…" John said as he struggled with Bailey and the last of her adrenaline filled rage. "Stop Bailey, you are going to hurt your ribs worse than before." With one last try, the fight in Bailey drained. Numbness and pain flashed through her. With dead eyes, she looked at John and told him what happened. "He took advantage of me in a weak moment! He kissed me!" Bailey exclaimed.

John dropped Bailey's wrists and went after Nick. Growling, he landed a punch to Nick's eye. They start rolling on the ground throwing punches and cursing. Bailey stood back and watched for a few minutes and just when it looked like Nick was losing, she went in search of the closest water hose. She turned on the valve and stretched the hose from the side of the cabin. Bailey pointed the nozzle at the men and sprayed them with as much force as the hose would allow. The cold water broke them apart and they lay on the ground gasping. "Now guys, I am leaving. Don't start again unless you want the police called on you." Bailey threw over her shoulder as she dropped the hose and walked back to her car.

1

**Walking into Bailey's house, all was quiet. The woman never locks her door. That will be her downfall. The mysterious person walked from room to room looking for any and all weapons that Bailey may have handy at any point. Knives in the kitchen…check. Rifle propped up by the door…check. Handgun she had placed in the bedside table…check. Aside from those, there was nothing else the person could see. From out side, the person could hear the rumble of Bailey's engine. As Bailey entered the house, the person exited the house from the back window in the master bath. "I will come back some other time. I have all the time in the world." **

2

Bailey entered her house and stopped short. Something was wrong. Some one was here or still here. Ignoring the pain that was finally rearing its ugly head, Bailey reached for the rifle and went through the house room by room. She reached her room and found her bathroom curtain open. "Funny, I never open that curtain." Bailey thought as she closed the curtain. Shrugging, she searched the house. Something didn't seem right. The flowers on her foyer table were off by three inches, her side table drawer was slightly open and her gun had been moved. She entered the kitchen and noticed the knife block was crooked and one of the knives had been laid on the counter. Bailey felt uneasy suddenly. Someone was in her house touching her things, but maybe it was the girls. She stopped long enough to take her medicine while musing over the things that have been moved.

Suddenly, Bailey heard someone outside. The knock on the door almost had Bailey come undone.

She screamed from the kitchen, "Who is it?"

"It's me." Came John's raspy voice. "We need to talk."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Bailey rushes to the door, replaces the rifle in its place by the door, and opens the door for him to come in. Bailey relieved John was here wrapped her arms around his neck and gives him a quick kiss on his lips.

John pulls away and goes to sit on the couch. "Bailey, did you want to kiss Nick?"

"No, of course not. John, I was hurt by what you said at the bar, so yes I did let him kiss me. Trust me, I would not have acted the way I did this morning if I wanted him to kiss me." Bailey said hoping he would see that she was vulnerable and not in her right mind.

"Well, I don't know what to think. You won't tell me anything about your past and he knows everything. Bailey, I need to know. I am falling for you. I don't want to go in blind to a relationship. That shit never works."

Bailey sighed and sat down beside John. "I will only tell you a little bit about my past. Only the stuff I can emotionally handle right now. Two men abused me in my life that should have meant a lot to me in my early years. Then my ex treated me like I was nothing but poop under his shoe." Bailey's eyes were filled with tears threatening to spill over. The pain in her eyes melted the steel walls he had built up around him as she spoke. The pain in her eyes increased and melted John's heart. He grabbed Bailey as she began to sob.

"Oh Bailey. I am so sorry. Take your time to tell me. I promise I won't push anymore." John said as he held Bailey and gently stroked her back.

Bailey pushed away to try to gain some composure. "That's enough for one day. How about we do something else." With a twinkle in her eye, she climbed on John's lap and started kissing his neck. John growled and grabbed her by the waist, stood up and carried her off to the bed. Wrapping her legs around John, she breathed in his scent and sighed. She loved his scent. She loved how she touched him. She loved him. She loved him more than she loved any one she ever claimed to love. The thought made her tense and pause long enough for John to notice.

"You alright?" John asked. "Your ribs, I'm sorry. I almost forgot."

"Yeah, I overdid things a little bit today." Bailey lied. Her pain medicine she took had already kicked in. Her revelation had her panicking. Every man in her life proved her that she couldn't trust a man. First her father verbally, mentally, and at times physically abusing her; then her brother…no, she didn't want to think about it. Her husband even made her feel inadequate and stupid almost every day. Why would she trust another man? Why would she put her heart on the line again for another man who could potentially ruin her? He had to go before she had a full on panic attack.

"I will be fine. Can we save this for another day? I am suddenly very tired. I want to take my medicine and curl up in bed. Do you mind?" Bailey asked, panic was rising in her body like a wildfire.

John took a deep breath and released her and she slid down his body to the floor. "Sure. You must be very mentally drained after this morning and on top of that not feeling well. I will come back later." John leaned in for one last lingering kiss and turned to go. "I will see you tomorrow."

3

John went out to his truck to leave when he felt it. Someone was watching him. He quickly looked around, but didn't see anyone. John shrugged it off and left Bailey's driveway. "Probably some nosy neighbor" John thought. He headed towards the boat to help with the last leg of the transformation of the boat from tendering to crabbing. He arrived in record time, but all work was done. He saw Andy in the wheelhouse and decided to check in.

"Hey brotha! You working on the paper work for the journey south?" John asked as he climbed the stairs to the wheelhouse.

"Hey! Yeah. Where you been?" Andy asked. "Wait, I don't want to know!" He said as he wrinkled his nose.

"HA!" John laughed. "Nah, nothing like that. Just some last minute details before we leave next week."

"Ah, ok. We are going to grandmas tonight so we can visit with her a little early. I am behind on some paperwork and I need to concentrate on that before we shove off." Andy said sounding a little distracted.

"Like always, John doesn't notice. He goes about his day only catering to himself." Andy thought as John slapped him on the back and left the wheelhouse.

"I'll see you later, I am going to get ready to go to grandmas." John called as he exited out on to the deck. He didn't hear what Andy might have said. He was going to take a drive and clear his mind. Bailey's reaction and Andy's sullen mood was bothering him. "Andy doesn't think I notice, I'm sure. I don't want to get in to it. That's all." John thought as he turned on to the Sterling Highway headed towards Anchorage.

4

That night, John seemed in his head like usual. Andy was distracted and Scotty, who finally showed his face, was the only talkative one. John sat back and drank his coffee and listened to his grandmother tell them to be careful and be good. She always told them that. After Andy and Scotty left for a night out, John stuck around to have as private talk with grandma.

"Grandma, can I ask you a question?" John asked.

"Sure, baby. Ask away." Grandma smiled and settled in.

"I have a lady friend who really likes me. I really like her too. In fact, I think I may love her. She keeps pushing me away and acting scared every time I try to build an emotional bond. I know she was abused by the men that should have loved her the most, but do you think that I could over come that?" John asked, looking like a lost puppy dog.

"Well Johnny, I can tell you that this is going to be a tough one. You will need a lot of patience with her and maybe try to understand why she is pushing away. You say she was abused. I am thinking father? Husband?" Grandma asked as she was thinking.

"Both. Her brother as well." John sighed.

"Oh my…" Grandma said. "Take this one slow and patiently." Advised Grandma.

"Thanks, Grandma. I have to go. I will see you when we return from fishing." John said as he pressed a kiss to his grandmother's cheek.

"Alright Johnny. You be safe and be good!" Grandma called after John. She shook her head and sighed. "What am I going to do with him?" She said as she locked her doors and turned out the lights.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The next day, Bailey went to the doctor to be cleared for work. Her phone was vibrating like crazy the whole time she was there. She knew who it was and she decided to wait to call him back. Two hours later a very impatient Bailey was cleared to go back to work. As she left the doctors office, she checked her phone. "13 missed calls and 6 texts…wow. And they are all from Johnathan!" Bailey sighed as she climbed into her GTO. She cranked the car and let it purr for a few minutes while she checked her messages.

"_Where are you?"_

"_Are you ok?" _

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Please call back, I want to talk to you."_

"_Bailey, pick up the damn phone!"_

"_I'm sorry, I'm just worried"_

Bailey shook her head. "I don't need this. I will wait until I get home. I am way too stressed right now." Bailey said to no one as she pulled out of Hospital Drive and headed towards home.

Ten minutes later, Bailey drives up to her house to see John's truck out in front of her house and him asleep in the cab of his truck. She parked in the garage and got out. She took a slow breath and walked to his truck as her garage door shut behind her. She stopped at his window and watched him sleep for a minute. She smiled at his TB hat set over his eyes and his mouth slightly open. Soft snores were audible through the window of his truck. Bailey smiled a mischievous smile and knocked on the window. John woke with a start, hat flying to the passenger floor of his truck as he sat up straight. Bailey heard a stream of profanity as he finally realized his surroundings. Bailey smiling and chuckling in amusement motioned for him to follow her. John frowned at her and obliged. She could tell he wasn't as amused, but at the moment she just didn't care.

"Bailey, where the hell have you been?" John said as they entered the foyer of her small home.

"I was at the doctors office getting cleared to go back to work. Like I need to be cleared to teach. Because it is a really physically strenuous job." Bailey said oozing with sarcasm.

"Oh" John said, suddenly embarrassed by all of the phone calls and text messages.

"What was with the numerous calls and texts?" Bailey asked.

"This is my last day on dry land. Andy left with the boat already and I have to catch a plane tomorrow to meet him there." John explained. "I wanted to spend the day with you."

"Ok. I'm free now!" Bailey said. She grabbed her purse and turned to look at John. "What do you want to do?"

John grabbed her purse and tossed it to the floor. "This" John said as his lips met hers.

Bailey and John didn't leave the bedroom until an hour before the girls returned from school. They both were exhausted and resting on the couch when the girls came home.

"Hey girls! You all want to go out to eat tonight?"

Cara and Emily looked at each other and seemed to have a private conversation with their eyes. After what seemed like 5 minutes, Cara and Emily both agreed to a night out. The girls went straight to their room and started their homework.

A few hours later, the four of them were in the GTO. Bailey let John drive and regretted it the whole way. With every stop sign from the house to the restaurant, he had the girls squealing and Bailey wide eyed every time he tested the modified 370 hp engine.

"You know, it wouldn't be so bad if I were the one burning rubber and speeding away from every stop sign." Bailey said as she gripped the door handles.

"Oh hush, you are only freaking out because you aren't in control." John chided Bailey.

"Yeah, I know, but I like to let you take control only in certain situations." Bailey chided back as she wagged her eyebrows at John.

John blushed and maxed out Bailey's high-powered engine on a straight part of the spit.

"I love this car!" John exclaimed as he sped down the spit.

"You can pay the speeding ticket too," Bailey stated. She wasn't really worried about the money; she was worried about her car.

The four of them arrived at the Happy Face and parked. "Keys…" Bailey said as she came around the front of her car. John fake pouted and handed her the keys.

"Fine, you win. That was fun though. Thanks for letting me test drive her." John said as he swung his arm around her.

The girls found a seat by the window over looking the bay as John and Bailey ordered. The four of them sat around the table enjoying a nice dinner and conversation. Emily actually spoke more than three words and John had her spilling her short life story. Cara and Bailey sat back and enjoyed their Chinese food and looked out across the bay and talked.

Once in a while through out the dinner, Bailey felt some one watching her. It felt familiar, but not friendly. She couldn't quite explain it. Her senses were trying to reach out and fine-tune to the darkness that had crept up during the dinner. Some one was out there watching her and the girls. The hair on the back of her neck and arms stood on end. She didn't like that feeling. She started to feel very uncomfortable when John reached over and ran a hand over her arm startling her.

"You cold?" John asked. One look at her face and he could tell she was worried about something. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I thought I felt some one watching me out there." Bailey said as she stared out the window.

"It's Alaska. If you feel like some one or something is watching you, then it or they probably are. I wouldn't worry about it. They are probably staring at me. I get that a lot these days." John said trying to ease Bailey's mind, but at the same time feeling uneasy himself.

"Let's go. We can rent a movie and I will stay as long as you want me to tonight." John smiled and shook her lightly.

"Ok. Would you mind staying the night?" Bailey asked.

"Sure." John said and winked. "Any time."

The girls bowed out of the movie watching when they got home and went to Cara's room still chatting. Bailey sat back in John's arms and sighed. "I like this. Thanks for getting Emily to talk. I think she really misses her dad. I don't think she knows that he was going to really hurt her. I can't bring myself to tell her. I think he was here for them, but they got in the way. I am so glad Cara only came out with some bruises."

John held Bailey a little tighter and kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry y'all had to go through that."

"Me too." Bailey said as she snuggled closer.

The movie started and halfway through the movie, Bailey fell asleep. John turned the TV off and stood to pick Bailey up. She woke just enough to wrap her arms around his neck. He stopped for a second as completely new feelings rushed through him. He was confused and stricken by them at the same time. He shook his head and regained his composure and carried her to bed. He took her shoes off and covered her with her blanket. John walked to the other side of her bed and settled in under the covers and pulled her to him. They slept until early the next morning.

Bailey woke to John's arms around her. She moved his arm and got up. She wanted to take a shower before he went to the airport. She was going to miss him, but was going to be glad to have some time to think about their relationship and maybe think about how she was going to deal with her new feelings. She knew she loved him, but was afraid to admit it. What if he didn't love her? That would devastate her. What if her hurt her like everyone else did? She jumped as John joined her in the shower and chased her thoughts away. He traced the tattoo on her upper back and kissed it.

"What is the meaning of this tattoo?" John asked. Tracing the words "The ties that bind no more…"

"I got that tattoo the day Paul asked for a divorce. I went straight to Oxford tattoo and asked the artist to draw it out and put it on me. The chains represent the relationship and the broken link represents the end of our marriage. The phrase is just that. The ties that no longer bind, the chains were broken the day he asked me for a divorce. It all represents my freedom. He always said if I get a tattoo that there would be problems in our marriage. When I had no more marriage, I got a tattoo. No one stopping me now…and the tattoo on my lower back, that is the girls nicknames and their birthdates." Bailey explained.

"Nice way to record an event in your life. Let me guess, you weren't broken up about leaving him."

"Not really, no. But I did feel sadness for the loss of everything I tried to work for, only to realize I had failed at that." Bailey said as sadness showed in her voice. "I really feel bad for the girls and everything they have been through with him and how he died. Remind me to tell you all about that when you return from fishing."

Surprised, John agreed to remind her. "Are you sure you want to tell me?"

"That's the easy part. He was emotionally abusive. Unlike my father who physically abused me, and my brother…" Bailey breathed in a shaky breath and John wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Shhh…you don't have to tell me yet. Take your time. I know it must be hard." John whispered in Bailey's ear.

"Thanks, John. I really appreciate your understanding." Bailey turned around and kissed John. "Now are we going to do this or not."

Bailey gave John a farewell to remember in the shower. As John left and boarded the plane, he never wanted to stay on dry land more than he wanted to now. He made up his mind on the way to Dutch Harbor to find and stay on the crab so he can be home quickly.

_**My plans are almost complete! I have been watching her for weeks now! My only problem is her boyfriend. He has seen me. I just know it. The day she left for the doctor, I know he had to have seen me come out of her house when he parked. I have to take him down too. There is no way I am going to let him identify me. I can't go to prison for killing her because of loose ends. **_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Two months later…

**Creeping along the side of Bailey's house, the mystery person sees everyone leave and lies in wait to enter the house. Five minutes later, the coast is clear and he/she uses the bathroom window in Bailey's room to enter. The mystery person gathers all possible weapons in the house and hides them under Bailey's bed. Then walks down the hall and slips quietly out the door. "This time tomorrow will be the perfect time to go through with the plans." The mystery person reaches in their pocket and pulls out their cell.**

"**It's me…no, I hid all of the weapons…no, there will be no problem…I know…be patient!" the person on the other end screams into the phone. "Tomorrow, tomorrow…yes ma'am…I know…John too? How…ok…I will try…" The mystery person slaps the phone shut and walks down to the coffee shop where the car is parked. **

"**This is turning out to be one cluster of trouble!" Mystery person says out loud. **

**1**

Bailey and the girls leave the house early for coffee and a little breakfast that morning. As Bailey set her cup of coffee on the table, someone grabbed Bailey from behind covering her eyes with one hand and another on her shoulder.

"I suppose I have to guess who this is, even though I can smell the cigarettes on your hand and your jacket." Bailey said a little sarcastic.

Bailey turns smiling at John who drops his hands in mock disappointment. "Damn, you have a good nose!" John said as he sweeps Bailey into an embrace. His lips tease hers long enough to elicit giggles from Cara and Emily. John released Bailey and stuck his tongue out at the girls. John reached into his pocket and pulled out two small boxes of candy for the girls. He leaned in close to Bailey and whispered, "Your present later, I don't think you can unwrap it now without the both of us being arrested." He teased and wiggled his eyebrows.

Bailey smiled and blushed in anticipation. "You wait old man, you haven't seen all I can do to you." Bailey smiled a wicked smile and winked as John cleared his throat and shifted from one foot to the other.

"I can't wait for tonight!" John smiled and kissed Bailey again. "I have to run, but I will see you soon…promise."

Bailey watched as John walked out the door. He has acted strange the last week since he has returned from crabbing. He called as much as he could while he was gone. That had helped with my worrying. Not that Bailey had worried too much. She believed that he was smart and capable and would return God willing. When he returned he was very loving the first few days, lavishing her with attention and plenty of mind-blowing sex. But he became increasingly distant in the days that follow. She didn't get it. She gave him the freedom that he wanted. He went out fishing with his brother, he spent time with his son and grand kids; he even went out with his friends. Not that Bailey minded Bailey had friends and her girls to take up the time he was out doing his thing. Bailey and the girls often went to the movies and rode their snowmobiles with friends. John was invited and often came along, which John always made everything a party from the start. Life was fun, life had laughter and less tears. Bailey was finally happy. John on the other hand, seemed distant from time to time, which lead Bailey to think he was getting ready to move on with out her.

2

John walked in to his house and grabbed a bottle of crown from his freezer. Not bothering with a glass, he sat on his couch and turned on the TV and started drinking. He was thinking about how he and Bailey met and how well they fit together. She was everything he was looking for in a woman. She is independent, fun, sensible, even-tempered, and beautiful. The feelings he felt for her were strong. He sat back and drank for a few minutes, still thinking of Bailey. He finished off the Crown and set the bottle to the side and slouched into the cushions of the couch and fell asleep.

He dreamed he was on the deck of the Time Bandit near where his father was buried. Rows of chairs filled the deck parting in the middle forming an isle. Bows and red and black flowers everywhere, from the arch over his head to the chairs. Suddenly, the chairs were filled with all of his and Bailey's loved ones. His mom's preacher was standing beside him to his right and Andy and Scott to his left. Cara and Emily in long flowing black dresses and holding bouquets of red roses to the preachers right were smiling at John. Enya's "Only Time" started playing over the speakers and Bailey in a long red wedding dress with white faux fur trim walked slowly towards him. Her hair blowing in the breeze and her face glowing with happiness, made her look like an angel. He felt so much love for this woman. But the closer she came to him, the more he started to panic. He wanted to run, but his feet and heart wouldn't let him. He was screaming in his head…"MOVE, RUN!"

John woke with a start. He sat running his hand down his face. He has had that very dream for the last two months and it scares the hell out of him. He can't get married not now not ever…he is the ultimate bachelor. He can have any one he wanted. But he wants Bailey.

John shook his head. "Enough with those thoughts." John said to his empty house. John got up quickly and grabbed his fishing gear. "That has been the one thing that could always consume my thoughts and keep these crazy marriage thoughts out of my head for the last two months." John sighed as he loaded his truck and took off.

3

Bailey returned home from work a little late, but since the girls got a part time job in town she often had time to relax before they came home. But this time John was waiting for her in the driveway. He looked strange. What ever was bugging him was bugging him now and he looked ready to talk about it. She waved him in and he followed. Once inside, he sat on the couch and motioned for her to sit. Bailey's heart dropped. She knew by the look on his face, that this conversation wouldn't be good.

"Bailey." John said gearing up for what he was about to say. Bailey sat waiting, unable to move or say what she knew she should.

"I think we should break up." John whispered. Bailey let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Pride stepped in and she sat up straight. "Fine. Go. Go now." Bailey growled fire dancing in the depths of her eyes. "Go and don't come back."

John clearly hurt by her words, rose from the couch and walked out the door. He stopped and thought about turning back but heard the dead bolt lock and Bailey slide down the door. It broke his heart when he heard he weeping inside. Accepting her wishes, he turned towards his truck and left, tears flowing freely down his own face. "Why did this hurt so much?" John thought as he drove away.

4

Bailey didn't know how long she lay on the floor by the door crying. She only stopped long enough to text the girls to tell them that since it was Friday, they could go out and not to be any later than 12 am. She was going to go out with a friend. She didn't need the drama that John had created and she wasn't going to fall apart because some man didn't want her. The statistics in this town were five men to one woman. She could find someone to either take home for a few hours or just to play with for a while at a bar. No problem!

Bailey dusted herself off and went to take a shower. When she got out, she decided to give Nick a call. They needed to talk any way. Bailey dialed Nick's number and on the third ring, he answered like always. They talked for a while and Bailey told Nick about the break up. They decided to head to the Oyster for karaoke night. They had quite a few nights with Paul at the local VFW back home and thought this would be fun even with Paul gone.

A few hours later, both Nick and Bailey walked in to the Oyster bar and immediately felt at home. Bailey felt like smiling for the first time since John broke things off earlier that afternoon. Bailey selected a table close to the stage and grabbed the binder filled with songs for karaoke. As she was looking through the folder, she felt someone watching her again. That feeling had been so prevalent in her life now, that she had learned to shake it off and ignore it. Nick came to the table and set a Coors down in front of Bailey and sat across from her. Bailey grabbed the beer and took a swig.

"Oh sweet baby Jesus, that is good!" Bailey said as she set her beer down. "The first swig is always good."

Nick smiled and shook his head. "You never change, do you?" He said, chuckling. "I have missed this, and you."

Bailey looked up from the play list and grinned. "Me too. I miss hanging out with you. Too bad things with Paul and I went sour. I think as soon as he started accusing me of things that I wasn't doing, our social life dropped off dramatically." Bailey said as she frowned a little remembering how Paul accused her of cheating. The thought never crossed her mind to cheat on Paul, not until he started pushing her away with accusations. All of those nights he accused her of cheating, of having feelings for this and that guy. That was the start of the end of their marriage. Even when he stopped accusing her of those unspeakable things, he would never have anything nice to say about her. It was sad really, she loved him dearly and to the end she loved him. Unfortunately, love was not enough to keep her from leaving.

"Such a waste." Bailey sighed as she continued to look for a song to sing.

Nick reached across the table and patted her on her arm. He wasn't always comfortable with emotions, but the simple pat reassured her and she smiled at him. "I have the perfect song." Bailey said as she got up and told the DJ what songs she would be singing. She started with a few rock songs and a few country songs. The more she and Nick drank, the crazier their song selections. Nick sang a lot of old Hank Williams songs. Bailey sang some No Doubt from "back in the day". The final song was a surprise for Nick and as soon as the song started, he knew their night was over.

"This is my favorite song, I hope you enjoy. This will be my last." Bailey said as the music started.

"Shit…" Nick said as he downed the last of his drink. He knew he was going to be drying tears again. Hatred for John filled his heart. "How dare he build her up like that and then tear her world apart." Nick mused.

The song started and Nick paid the bill. This was going to be a long night. He hadn't planned for this.

Bailey started singing Reba's How Blue. Everyone in the bar could tell she was trying not to cry.

"How Blue (how Blue) can you make me

How long till I heal

How Can I go on loving you when you're gone

How Blue (How Blue) can I feel

Oh honey why did you leave me

Ain't you got a heart left in your chest

I swear to you that I'm dyin'

'Cause my mind won't let my body rest

How Blue (How Blue) can you make me

How long till I heal

How can I go on loving you when you're gone

How Blue (How Blue) can I feel

If I sink any lower I'll go under

If I cry anmore I'll go blind

No there ain't no relief for this missing you grief

How long can you torture my mind

How Blue (How Blue) can you make me

How long till I heal

How can I go on loving you when you're gone

How Blue (How Blue ) can I feel

How can I go on loving you when you're gone

How Blue (How Blue ) can I feel"

Bailey ended the song and Nick grabbed her and swept her out the door. They caught a cab and Nick dropped her off at her house before heading home himself. She tried to get him to come in, but he begged off saying he had an early morning. Bailey went inside and fell onto the couch and cried herself to sleep.

5

John pulled in to Bailey's drive way an hour later. "To hell with her wishes." John said as he made his way in to the house. He saw Bailey on the couch snoring softly and sat on the chair at her head watching her sleep. Her girls came in a few minutes later and smiled and went to their rooms. He was grateful she had such good girls. They loved and respected her no matter what she did. As he looked at Bailey, he couldn't help but reflect on the night's events.

John couldn't believe his eyes when she walked in the Oyster with Nick smiling like nothing happened between her and John. He didn't make a move from the corner he was sitting in so he could watch how she interacted with Nick. There were moments of laughing and moments where she looked like she was thinking about something really hard. Then when Nick would march to the stage to sing, he saw it. He saw the sadness below the surface. He saw her masterfully hide the hurt and pain as Nick came back to the table. She was acting as if she was in a poker game never wanting to show her hand. She had one hell of a poker face! He smiled and laughed to himself. The moment she started singing that last song about being blue, John saw her pain in full force. Nick did too; Nick was smart enough to whisk her away, and John was glad he did. Funny thing was, John saw on that stage, the love Bailey felt for him. He can't let her go. She means too much to him.

6

The next morning, Bailey woke up on the couch with a hangover. Cara and Emily had already left for the morning. They had a date with their friends to go to the lake and ride their new snowmobiles the life insurance from Paul bought them. Bailey decided to get out and go shopping. The winter had snuck up on them and they didn't get a chance to get the correct heavy coats they needed. She hated the fact that her girls were out there in four layers of clothes and light coats for this weather.

As Bailey made her way home, she enjoyed the day and for a moment didn't think about John. As she got closer to home, she became sadder. She jumped as a text message popped up on her phone.

I want to talk to you. Meet you at your house? –John

Bailey sighed. She didn't want to talk, but maybe she could use some closure. She fired back a short text.

Sure.

As she pulled in to the house, John was already there. They silently made their way in to the house and Bailey set her bags down inside the door. She led the way in to the living room and sat in a chair by the couch. She didn't want to be so close that she would be tempted to reach out and beg for him back. She couldn't take the rejection if he said no. She sat silently waiting for him to start. He sat on the couch and removed his hat while leaning forward. Crushing his hat, he started to sniffle. Bailey resisted the urge to go to him. He hurt her; she didn't want to give him the easy way out of this. He gathered himself and started talking. He told her about last night and how he had watched her and Nick at karaoke. He told her he saw the sadness in her eyes and knew he put that there. He looked up at her and with tears in his eyes, asked her to forgive him and come back to him.

Bailey hesitated for a few seconds. She slowly stood up and pushed John back against the back of the couch. She straddled his legs and snaked her arms around his neck. "This time I forgive you. But you hurt me. Don't do it again." Bailey whispered.

John relaxed and grabbed her around the waist with one arm and pushed up with the other. Bailey squealed a tiny squeal and held on tight. John chuckled and carried her to her room. They languished in each other for the rest of the afternoon. They tore up her room giving and taking every part of each other's bodies until there was nothing left. An hour before the girls were expected to come home, they finally surfaced from the bedroom. Bailey decided she needed to run a few errands and John decided he should go get food for dinner. As they parted, they didn't see some one sneaking up to the house and slipping into the bathroom window.

7

Cara and Emily arrived home to what the thought was an empty house. They entered and shook of the cold. Shedding a few layers and throwing the outer layers in the laundry room, they didn't see the figure sneaking up on them. Cara was the first to sense the presence. She grabbed Emily by the arm and gave her a sideways glance that told Emily that they were in danger. Emily stiffened and from behind them they heard a voice.

"Don't move unless I tell you to. I have a gun."

The girls stood still like their captor told them to. They heard chairs scraping and the intruder moving things.

"Turn slowly and go sit in the chairs." The intruder told them.

Cara and Emily obliged him sitting in the dining room chairs. The intruder tied them up back to back and covered their eyes and mouths. "This is to keep you quiet until mommy comes home." The intruder sneered. Cara felt ill, she thought she recognized the voice. She will be good until her mom comes home.

8

Bailey arrived home from running errands. She walked into the house reading a text from John saying that he would be there in 5 minutes.

"Girls, if you are home, John will be here in 5 minutes with the food!" Bailey called as she set the mail on the kitchen counter. She looked up to see Cara and Emily bound and gagged. Bailey stopped dead still. She started to rush towards her girls when she saw a figure with a ski mask on step out of the shadows with a gun.

"Sit." The intruder sneered as he pointed with his gun to the empty chair by the girls. She did as she was told. She thought the intruder sounded familiar, but couldn't place who he was. She allowed him to tie her. "John will be here any minute." Bailey said as she slightly struggled against the ropes.

The intruder leaned in and sneered, "Good, then I can get him."

Bailey saw it then. His eyes, she knew those blue eyes with small brown specks. The shock had her spinning as she said, "You!"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Let me go. Why are you doing this?" Bailey pleaded.

Her plea was met with silence. _"She knows who I am now. What am I going to do?" _he thought as he continued to tie her to the chair. When Bailey left Illinois without a word, he had been furious with her. All the years they knew each other and she was going to throw it all away for this middle of nowhere land. For years, she had talked about moving to Alaska. Alaska, Alaska, Alaska…that was all she wanted. Then when she had that one chance, she left. No goodbyes, no "come with me", she just left and I had to live without her. A noise at the door had him hurrying to tie Bailey's mouth. At that moment, John opens the door as the intruder slips around the corner of the dining area so he could catch John off guard.

John walks in to the dining area, gasps and drops the food. He rushes to Bailey reaching for the ropes. Bailey stops John with a grunt and a shake of the head. John stops and looks up into her eyes. Bailey gestured with her eyes towards where the intruder had hidden as the intruder comes around the corner with his gun aimed at John's face. John raises his hands in surrender. The intruder motions for John to sit in the chair he had set up for John.

"Move, and Bailey dies." The intruder growled at him.

John nods in surrender and the intruder ties John. "Ok, I see why I didn't fight, but why didn't you?" John asked as he was being tied.

Bailey looked at John with daggers in her eyes. "Humph." she grunted as she cut her eyes towards the girls.

"Oh…" John said as he allowed his captor to tie and gag him. John couldn't help but wonder, who was this guy was and what did he want from him and the girls.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. The intruder looked at Bailey and Bailey bowed her head and looked sad. John didn't know what was going on, but he was going to find out. A few minutes later, the intruder came back with another person in a ski mask. This time, this was clearly, a woman.

"Let's move them." The woman said. John shivered; he knew that voice. He couldn't place the voice but he knew it. What did they want from them? Next thing John knew, they had everyone stand up and moving to a waiting van outside. John immediately became very concerned. The four of them load into the back of the van, the male following behind them. The van door closes and the female slides in to the drivers seat. John noticed that Bailey kept staring at the male intruder as if she knew him and was going to kill him. The male didn't notice. John cleared his throat and Bailey looked away from the male to John. John raised an eyebrow in question at Bailey and Bailey frowned and shook her head. Something was wrong; he could feel it in his bones. He didn't know what, but he was going to find out and soon.

1

Bailey couldn't believe what was going on. Why would he do this and who was this chick? She couldn't help but stare at her captor. All those years they knew each other and he does this? Why? Bailey had had enough of this mess. She fought against the ropes and shifted and kicked. The male pointed the gun at her head and told her to stop. Bailey stopped immediately, but held the captors gaze. With questions in her eyes, she grunted a "Why?" He looked at Bailey with sadness in his eyes and then looked away. Bailey hung her head and cried.

The van slowed and turned on to a rural road just 20 minutes outside of Homer. A few moments later, they arrived at a small cabin in the woods. The female parked the van and got out as Bailey shifted to an attack pose. The male noticed and shoved his gun into her side, hurting her still tender ribs. Bailey winced slightly and relaxed her pose. The female opened the door and ordered everyone out.

As they climbed out, they were guided in to the cabin and ordered to sit in the prearranged chairs. That is when Bailey saw him. She gasped and went weak. Cara and Emily saw him the moment their mom gasped and started to fight against the ropes. The captors held guns to the girl's chests and they settled down immediately. Bailey looked at John who looked as if he had seen a ghost. Because in the corner, lay Paul alive and tied to the bed.

2

Paul screamed and strained against his own ropes. "Let them go! Leave them alone!" Paul screamed.

"Shut up!" the male screamed back.

"Nick, let them go!" Paul screamed again.

Nick ripped the ski mask from his head and marched to Paul and backhanded Paul across the face. "I said shut up." Nick growled at him.

"You are one sick person, Nick. You won't get away with this! If I ever get free, you will regret this!" Paul spat at Nick. The female charged towards Paul with her own gun she had stored in the cabin. "Shut up!" she said in a harsh whisper. Paul finally settled down, but he watched Nick and the she-devil closely.

3

John sat in stunned silence. Paul alive? How? He saw the coroner pronounce Paul dead. But wait…he saw Nick kneel over Paul's motionless body and do something. But what did he do?

Nick came behind John and took the gag from John's mouth and from everyone else's mouth. As he moved away, the female crept closer to John.

"I bet you don't know who I am with this mask on do you?" the female asked. She climbed on to John's lap and hooked her arm around his neck. "It's me, baby." She giggled and wiggled her hips slightly as she took her mask off. John sat stunned as he finally realized who the female was.

"Gia…" John growled. "Get off of me…now." John said angrily.

"Oh, you." Gia laughed as she slid off of John's lap. "You were always such a kidder!"

"I'm not kidding Gia. I told you the last time I saw you that I don't ever want to see you again. I meant it then and I mean it now." John said while seething with anger. He looked over at Bailey who sat facing forward stone-faced. He knew she didn't like what had just happened and he knew either Gia or he was going to pay for that.

"So John, when are you going to take me to Mexico?" Gia purred.

"Never, Gia. We were done as soon as you cheated on me." John growled.

"Oh John, don't be that way. We were perfect together!" Gia giggled.

Gia turned to Nick and smiled. "Well, maybe we should get ready to do as planned!"

Nick nodded in agreement. Gia clapped and squealed in glee. "SQEEEEE! It's time!"

Gia turned around and stalked out of the cabin. "I'm going to go get the supplies!" She threw over her shoulder.

4

Bailey stared at Nick with a mean glint in her eye. "Why are you doing this, Nick? What would posses you to kidnap us? I thought we were friends."

"Oh Bail, we are…" Nick pleaded

"Oh no we are not! You don't kidnap your friend and her kids. You don't kidnap her ex for kicks!" Bailey spat at Nick. "And Paul, you are supposed to be dead! What is going on here!" Bailey screamed. It felt like she was losing her mind. Her whole world was spinning, her ribs still ached, and her heart was breaking. The only friend she could count on and believe in had betrayed her. She couldn't grasp why. Things were moving so fast.

Nick took a deep breath and stalked to the window. Gia had taken the van back to his shop to get the supplies needed to carry out her plans. Nick had thought it risky at best, but he wasn't going to let Gia hurt Bailey like she planned. His plan was to get the five of them up here and dispose of only John. He had yet to think of how to get rid of him and make it look like he hadn't meant to kill John. Gia had other plans though. She wanted to kill Bailey and her girls and Paul so John would come back to her. Gia's sick plan sent chills down his back. Kill Bailey and the family I always wanted? No. After Nick had kissed Bailey and she reacted the way she had, Nick had been approached the following day by Gia. She tried to sell him on her plan and at first Nick scoffed at the idea, but he had made an emotional decision to follow her and her plans. Now that he was knee deep in it he felt he had no choice; he had to go through with the plans and somehow change the outcome.

"Answer me!" Bailey screamed at Nick.

"Ok, Bail. I never meant for this to go so far. She approached me with the idea and after your rejection, I agreed to the idea. She wants to kill you and keep John for her self. She keeps calling him her "Dear John"." Nick started to explain. "I knew Paul was going to attack you. So I ordered a drug called Cardol that slows the heart really slow. Then I hired a coroner to fake Paul's death. Unfortunately, the coroner was killed in transport of "the body". Casualties are always expected. Don't worry he died a good death, a nice big grizzly carried him off." Nick chuckled as he nodded and turned towards Bailey. "You don't have to worry about dying if you choose me." Nick grinned and turned to exit the cabin.

Bailey sat in shock. She sat thinking for a while, anger boiling to the surface. "You hurt my girls or let that lunatic hurt them and I will never forgive you!" Bailey spat at Nick, while anger shook her whole body.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the girls having a conversation with their eyes. As freaky as their conversations were, they seemed comforting to Bailey. She knew they did that when they were planning something. Bailey felt uneasy. She didn't want them to get hurt.

"Nick, will you get me something to drink?" Bailey asked in her sweet voice.

"Any thing for you, sweetheart." He smiled as he left the cabin for a jug of water on the porch.

At that moment, Cara and Emily jumped up free from their binds. Rushing to both John and Bailey, they slashed their ropes with the knives the girls bought with their jobs. Cara rushed to their dad and slashed those ropes and Emily grabbed a skillet from the stove and waited by the door. John waited behind Emily to assist. They waited for a few minutes and heard the van drive up and the drivers' door slam. They heard footsteps and Nick and Gia arguing on the porch. Gia walked in first and Emily swung hard at Gia's head making contact with a sickening thump. Gia fell to the ground like a lifeless doll. Nick sprang into the cabin and lunged at a waiting John. Bailey watched as fists were flying. The girls and Bailey helped Paul up from the bed and led him outside to the van in case they got the upper hand. Bailey rushed back inside to John and Nick to break them up and saw Gia, blood racing down the side of her head, with the gun pointed at John and Nick as they sat on the floor with wide eyes. Bailey gasped and Gia swung on Bailey with the gun. As Gia raised the gun to Bailey's chest, Bailey saw Nick stand and grab Gia and the gun. John moved like lightening to grab Bailey and fling her to the floor.

As Nick and Gia fought for the gun, Bailey makes a plea to John. "Please help him. He's sick he needs help. Please!"

Bailey's faith in Nick confused John. But as John moved to help Nick control Gia, shots rang out and Bailey screamed and fell to the floor crying.

6


	17. Chapter 17

**This is just an ending to the drama and filler before I get to more. But right now, we have to get a certain someone to work for a long time and my OC needs therapy! No worries though, I am working on the next chapter on pen and paper tomorrow!**

Chapter 17

Bailey screaming wrestles away from John's grasp to go to Nick whom had been shot in the head. Gia who is trapped under a lifeless Nick, struggles to get up. As Bailey comes closer with anger and sorrow in her eyes, Gia struggles harder. As Bailey approached Nick, she grabbed him and cradled him in her arms while sobbing. "Don't die, we will get you some help. You will be ok. Please come back!" Bailey sobs. John rushes to catch Gia trying to slip away and he grabs her. Swinging her around, and settling her on the chair he was seated in, he ties her quickly with the speed of a life long crabber. She struggles as John ties her to the chair.

"Johnny, please listen to me. We could be so happy together. You and me, we could get married and live happily ever after." Gia whines.

"Never! The only woman I could see spending the rest of my life with is Bailey." John said as he looked over at Bailey cradling an already dead Nick.

Bailey paused and looked up at John with questions in her eyes. Bailey had never thought about marriage with him. In fact, after Paul pushed her out of his life, she had resolved to never remarry. She couldn't imagine taking care of another man. She would have to cook regularly, clean more, give up her nights of relaxation with girly shows and replace them with sports. She would also have to deal with another man's ego. There were many other reasons Bailey doesn't want to remarry. Aside from the whole giving up your life to a man thing. Marriage was a big disappointment to Bailey and now as she sat cradling Nick thinking about marriage, the room started to feel smaller and have less air.

Bailey let Nick's body fall to the floor with a thump. Her limbs were like jelly, and her thoughts racing. "Wha?" Was all Bailey could get out of her mouth. The thought of marrying anyone was crippling. Bailey turned and rushed for the door.

"Bailey, wait!" John called after her.

1

As John called after Bailey, Gia laughed a crazy high-pitched laugh. "You think she will marry you? You are beyond mistaken, we belong together and you know it! Let me go Johnny, and we could have the perfect life together." Gia cooed while batting her eyes.

John rolled his eyes and left the cabin to find Bailey. He was determined to find her and explain. Maybe ask her to spend the holidays with him and his family. No pressure, no proposal.

John didn't notice Bailey slip back in to the cabin after he left. Before he went looking for Bailey, he checked the van where the girls had dragged Paul off while chaos ensued. They sat in the back of the van fearfully waiting. John waved and held his index finger up and told them to stay in there, that he was going to go find Bailey. John turned to the woods to the left and went to look for Bailey. He walked for a short ways and gave up, "She could find her way back," he thought. He decided to turn around and head back when he heard the gun shot. He suddenly had a sick feeling something really bad had happened and turned to run back to the cabin.

2

Bailey slipped into the cabin as John left. She had murderous thoughts and didn't want to let Gia live any longer. This was all her fault. She took advantage of Nick and his confused feelings, now he's dead. Nick was the only man she trusted and now that he was dead, Bailey didn't care any more. Bailey walked towards Gia in a haze. Gia grinning and saying something Bailey couldn't hear.

Wanting Gia to fight for her life, Bailey untied her to let her have a fair shot. " You can leave, or you can fight. Your choice." Bailey said flatly.

"You shouldn't have done that, you know. John isn't here to protect you." Gia smirked.

Bailey smiled and flipped her hair back and laughed. "I don't need a man to protect me. I can do fine by myself."

Gia reached around to grab the gun she had in the waist of her pants at the same time Bailey reached for the one she found. Both women stood at an impasse. Who was going to shoot first? Bailey smiled and said, "Goodbye." Gia only had time to jump when Bailey pulled the trigger and shot Gia in the heart. Shocked, Gia dropped her gun and fell to the ground. "Guess you won't be marrying John." Bailey smirked as she dropped her own gun. Bailey stood over Gia and watched her gasp her last breath as John came rushing in.

"Oh my…" John said as he rushed to Bailey. "Did you…? What…?"

Bailey turned to John and said, "I gave her a chance to run and leave you alone, and she took that as a chance to try to kill me. I had to defend myself. What if she had tried to hurt my kids too?"

John thought for a few seconds and wrapped his arms around Bailey and sighed. "I guess as long as you are ok, that is all that matters." But he was very worried about Bailey's mental capacity.

They turned to leave to call the police and report the incident.

3

Two weeks later after the police cordoned off the scene and started their investigation, it was determined that Gia killed Nick and Gia was killed in self-defense. The police made both Bailey and John stay in town while they investigated. So John's family met in Homer to celebrate the holidays. John wanted Bailey to meet his family, but with Paul in town she pushed away from him a little. She reasoned with him that she wanted to have the girls spend time with Paul and she wanted to make things special for them all. This concerned John. John feared she would want to go back to Paul and called her frequently.

Though John was worried about his relationship, he still had fun with his family and friends. Andy was often staring at his older brother who was brooding in a corner from time to time. After everyone but Andy piled in their cars and left John's house, John picked his phone out of his pocket and dialed Bailey's home number. Getting no answer, he texted Bailey's cell.

_Just checking where you are and wondering if you and the girls wanted to come by. Everyone but Andy is gone. See you in an hour?_

John locked his I phone and turned to Andy who was sitting in the living room staring John down.

"Sit and tell me everything." Andy demanded.

John sighed and sat across from Andy. "Ok, you have a while?" John chuckled.

Andy smiled and nodded. "I have all day, brotha!"

John reached back in his memory to when he met Bailey and told Andy everything. He and the family knew about Gia and the whole ordeal, but not the full romance and the Bailey part of the story. He had a lot to get off his chest. He went on and on about Bailey and his dream about marrying her and his concerns about Paul now that he is back. Thirty minutes later, Andy whistled a low whistle.

"Wow, what are you going to do?" Andy asked John.

"I have no idea, Andy. No idea at all."

4

Bailey checked her messages and sighed. John had sent her the hundredth message of the day.

_Just checking where you are and wondering if you and the girls wanted to come by. Everyone but Andy is gone. See you in an hour?_

She had just finished a big holiday meal with the girls and Paul. They sat in her living room talking and enjoying their time together for the first time in years. After an hour, the girls went to their room to put their presents away and take a nap.

"So, where is your boyfriend?" Paul asked.

"He's with his family." Bailey replied. "He wanted me to meet his family, but I think it's too early."

Paul scoffed, "Bull, you are scared to death this will turn out to be more than boyfriend/girlfriend. You don't fool me. You had doubts before our wedding too. Remember, you tried to call it off and I talked you in to thinking it through."

Bailey grunted. "Yeah, I should have listened to my gut."

Paul sighed and rose carefully from the chair. "Bailey, are you going to run from commitment your whole life because of your childhood?"

Bailey looked at Paul and sighed, "No. I don't want to."

"Then go get your man. I will stay with the girls, I promise I won't take them." Paul chided.

"Haha…" Bailey faked a laugh as she rose from the couch and pulled her shoes on. "I guess you are right. But I refuse to get married, not ever again."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Bailey arrives at John's house. She took a deep breath before she got out of the car and knocked on the door. She was nervous. John had been blowing her phone up recently and after all that talk about marriage and wanting to meet his family. She had to clear the air with him. She was not going to get married. Paul wanted her to go to him, marry him, be happy. The only problem was, she was happy before all of this craziness. She loved John but loved her freedom as well.

John swung the door open to see Bailey standing there looking nervous. "Come in! I am so glad to see you." John grabbed Bailey and kissed her soundly on the lips. "You have to meet someone." John tried to lead Bailey further into his house. But Bailey hesitated.

"John, I told you I didn't want to meet family. That is just too much right now." Bailey frowned up at him.

"Bailey, please. Andy really wants to meet you. Please Bailey. This is the only person you will have to meet right now." John pleaded with Bailey.

Bailey frowned and sighed in frustration. "Five minutes." Bailey sighed. She walked into the living room with John following close behind.

Andy sat on John's brown leather couch. He had his jeans on that were tight and left little to the imagination. He wore a black t-shirt with the logo of his and John's boat on the upper left hand side. His blonde hair combed back away from his face was slightly graying. His smile, much like John's was magnetizing. He is a beautiful man and Bailey felt instantly at ease. She had to fight her urge to flirt, he was a married man and John would not be happy.

Bailey sat across from Andy looking him straight in the eyes. Using her best poker face, she smiled and introduced herself. She immediately went into a spiel of who she was, where she came from and why she came to Alaska. She never gave Andy a chance to ask her anything too personal. Bailey stopped talking enough to get a few breaths and Andy jumped in.

"So…since you have been here, you have captured my brother's heart. You put him in danger with your "friend", and now you want me to accept you as his girlfriend as someone that would be good for him." Andy said.

Bailey was floored. He was right; she had put him in danger. "You know. You are right. I have put him in danger." Bailey stood and grabbed John's hand. "My five minutes are up. Walk me to the door?"

John looked at Andy and shook his head. He followed Bailey to the door and grabbed her and spun her around. Bailey's eyes had a withdrawn and distant look in them. Her lips trembled and a tear fell from her eye. John had a bad feeling about what she was going to say. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and hugged her. Bailey stretched up on her toes and pulled John in for a long kiss. He groaned and leaned her against the wall and Bailey sighed a needy sigh. Her hands were slowly running up the front of his shirt and wrapping around his neck. John threaded his fingers in her long brown hair and pulled slightly, eliciting a small sexual groan from Bailey. They parted when they heard an uncomfortable clearing of the throat coming from Andy.

"Sorry bro. She was telling me goodbye." John said to Andy. Winking at Bailey he said, "I will see you later."

Bailey chuckled and walked out the door.

1

Bailey headed to her house quite satisfied with her self. She let Andy get to know her by not really getting to know her. Something she perfected a long time ago in order to keep people from getting too close. She didn't trust people easily, and why should she? Nick proved untrustworthy and so did Paul. With all that she had endured throughout her years, she definitely didn't want to try to trust anyone.

Bailey pulled in to her driveway and parked her car. She took a deep breath and headed in to the house.

"Well Paul," Bailey said as she walked in to the living room. "I think it's time you head home, no?"

Paul smiled at Bailey as she sat across from him. "Well, I think I am going to find a place to live here. You know, stay near my girls. I found a job as an accountant in the cannery up here."

Bailey sat back stunned. "What did you say?" She was shocked! He refused to follow her when they were married, why change his mind now? "Paul, we aren't getting back together. In fact, I enjoy being single…sort of single. But I know John will never want to be married, so he's perfect. You on the other hand…"

"Bailey," Paul said interrupting Bailey's rant, "I know you don't want to be married. Actually, I grew to like this town soon after I arrived here. It's not as bad as it seems."

Bailey breathed a sigh of relief. "Ok. Well do you have a place to stay? We could work out a custody agreement with the girls. I don't want them to not have a say in these things."

"We will get to it. How about since they are almost fully grown, they just come when they want to." Paul suggested.

"Whatever you want to do." Bailey smiled, content with the grown up way she and Paul were communicating. It was a first for them and she saw promise for the first time in years.

2

After Paul and Bailey had their custody talk, Paul took the girls to his hotel room for the next few days. Bailey took that time to clean and relax. After about three hours, there was a knock at her door. She answered the door to see John standing there with his head hung low.

"I don't care if he is still here. I want to see my woman and I want to make sure I still have her." John looked her straight in the eyes. The confusion and hurt in his eyes were killing Bailey.

"No one is here. Paul has the kids and I was just cleaning. Please come in." Bailey moved aside so John could come in.

John grabbed the door from Bailey and with a grin, shut it. He hooked his arm around Bailey by the waist and bent to kiss her with a hunger that had Bailey's head spinning. Before Bailey could think, John had her shirt off in the foyer kissing and teasing her nipples with his tongue. She grabbed John's shirt and pulled the shirt over his head. She ran her hands through his hair and captured his lips with hers. His hands slowly slid down her side and pulled her pants and panties down. Pushing her against the wall, he reached down and found her sweet hot center with his fingers. Bailey gasped in pleasure and rocked her hips slowly back and forth and her breaths coming quicker and her moans louder. John removed his hand before she screamed her climax and released his long cock from his jeans. John lifted Bailey off of the ground and settled her on his ready erection. He growled a deep growl of pleasure and started thrusting hard and fast. Bailey screamed in pleasure and dug her fingers into his shoulders as she felt the fire of her climax reach its peak and explode. Feeling Bailey find pleasure, John released with one last deep thrust inside her. They both groaned in pleasure and collapsed on to the floor of the foyer. Both spent and satiated.

Some time during the night, they found their way to the bed. Both tired and happy, they stayed up talking and laughing as well. Bailey had never found such a connection with anyone. She felt safe enough to tell him what she couldn't tell him a while back.

"John, I want to tell you about what I couldn't bring myself to tell you a few months ago." Bailey said in a serious moment.

John sat up straight and took her hand. "Go ahead."

"I was molested by my brother when I was 9 or 10." Bailey blurted out. Tears formed in her eyes while thinking about it.

John turned red and squeezed her hand in anger. "That bastard…" John finally said. "Oh Bailey, I'm so sorry."

John brushed a tear away that had slid down Bailey's cheek. He grabbed her and held her in a bear hug as she started to sob. "Don't tell me any more. You're ok. You are safe with me. Shhhh…"

Bailey buried her head into John's chest and cried herself to sleep.

3

The next morning, John brought breakfast to bed. They ironed out details of the day. Both of them needing to run errands and opting to do them separately so they can get done quicker for a night out. They decided to meet at Bailey's house later that evening. As they were getting ready, John couldn't help but see bruises on her back.

"Hey, where did those come from?" John asked, while running a gentle finger over the bruises.

"I don't know. Maybe they came from when you were bending me backwards over the coffee table…" Bailey looked at him smiling seductively.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot. See you later." John kissed Bailey soundly on the mouth and patted her on the butt before he left.

Bailey smiled and rolled her eyes. She headed out to finish errands before their planned time to meet. Bailey picked up her mail and went grocery shopping before heading to the liquor store to replenish her stash of liquor. She dropped her groceries off and stored them before heading back out to finish her errands. She made her way to the beauty shop to get a wax and an overdue hair trim. She made a last minute decision to shop for something nice to wear for the night. As she walked in to the house with her purchases, she saw John sitting in the chair in her living room. She smiled and turned to walk to her room.

"Hang on, I will be done in ten minutes!" Bailey called down the hall.

"Yeah right!" John chided.

Bailey was dressed and ready in less than ten minutes. She bounced down the hall in her new clothes and her hair pulled in to a tight, high ponytail. She was excited about tonight. This was the first night in a while they will spend together alone. She loved spending time with John. They have so much fun laughing and joking around with each other. Both being light hearted and free spirited, they always had a joke to tell or something fun to do. Bailey was also excited to spend time with John because he was leaving in the next few weeks and they didn't know how long he would be out fishing.

As she bounced in the room, John grabbed Bailey and kissed her passionately on the lips. "I can not wait to get you back home." John growled in his deep, smoke husky voice. Bailey smiled and patted John on the ass, and winked.

"All in good time." Bailey said as she danced away, giggling.

John smiled and shook his head. He followed her out to the truck and opened the passenger door for her. Bailey climbed in and buckled her seat belt. John came around the front of the truck and hopped in the driver's side.

"I hate it that you retired the GTO for the winter. We could have had some fun." John joked.

"Yeah, and have it rust? I think not!" Bailey laughed. She was secretly glad she had put the car away and brought out her winter truck. When she brought the GTO up from back home, she knew she would need to buy a truck. But when Nick died, he left her his truck and business to sell. She kept the truck but the business went up for sell and was about to sell soon. She had several offers already. Bailey shivered at the thought of Nick and the upcoming memorial service he had requested. Though small, she hadn't entirely forgiven him for his actions and she wasn't sure she wanted to go through with the service at all. Maybe it was for the best, not only was she burying her best friend but he also betrayed her and her girls. He had requested cremation and a releasing of his ashes at Mount McKinley. If Bailey had her way she would just dump him in the toilet, but Paul harped on her to the point where she agreed to follow through with the arrangements anyway.

"You look deep in thought." John said as they climbed out of the truck to enter their favorite Mexican restaurant.

"Yeah, just thinking about Nick's wishes and why I agreed to this whole mess." Bailey sighed.

John threw his arm around Bailey's shoulders as they entered the restaurant. "Well, let's go forget about all of that for a few hours."

John and Bailey ate and joked and talked while eating. They saw a few friends who stopped to talk and a few fans came by to try to get pictures and autographs. John was nice and all smiles through out the whole meal even when the fans came up to them to chat or they would buy him drinks. Bailey didn't mind. It was the nature of the beast. If she were going to date someone famous, she would have to deal with all of the fans too. She smiled and snapped pictures of him and the fans; she shook hands and was friendly to every one of them. Even the most over zealous fans who tried to sit on his lap. He was polite, but she could tell that he was uncomfortable with them doing so. Bailey didn't chide herself. She knew if she weren't there, he would allow the really pretty ones to sit for a while. She knew he was a playboy and accepted him for him. She also had told him that if he cheated, she was gone. He said he would never cheat on another girl again since Gia had been the first to cheat on him and it really broke his heart. Bailey wasn't stupid though. She knew alcohol would impair his judgment and he would have a weak moment one day. She was willing to at least stay with him until then. Funny thing, she accepted him as he was and didn't want to try to change him. She knew how that felt since Paul had done that very thing and it nearly killed her soul.

"You ready to go?" John asked as he paid the bill.

"Yeah." Bailey said as she walked to the door.

3

She had enough of the fans for the night. She wanted to go home and sleep. The last five weeks had been very stressful and she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. As they pulled in to her drive, she saw someone sitting in the shadows. She stiffened and grabbed John's arm. He spotted the shadowy figure then and stiffened as well. They sat in the truck staring for a few minutes, both frozen with memories of the abduction. The shadowy figure stood and lit a cigarette and Bailey knew then who it was.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!" Bailey squealed in delight and jumped out of the truck before John could stop her. Bailey raced to the figure and threw herself into his arms.

The man picked Bailey up and swung her around. "I am very happy to see you and I need some Makers Mark! It is cold out here!"

Bailey laughed and pulled him inside. John followed, curious about whom this person was and why did he get the same reaction from Bailey as John does when he gets home from being away for a while. "Who is this?" John said as he entered the kitchen. The guest was standing in the kitchen pouring him a drink. He was Bailey's height, dark hair and eyes, tattoo sleeves, and very muscular.

"John, this is my cousin Steve! Steve, this is John." Bailey said excitedly. "I am so glad you are here, Steve! I have been missing you! How's the firefighting going?"

"Nice to meet you John. Firefighting is good. I thought you and I could have some fun! You know, like the old days." Steve said as he took a drink from his glass.

"Well, I am going to let you guys catch up" John said as he excused himself.

"Ok, I'll walk you to the door." Bailey said as she followed John. She gave him a kiss goodnight and he walked out.

"So…let's move this party to the next room!" Bailey said as she grabbed the MM and headed for the couch.

Steve followed only because she stole his bottle. They sat and talked for most of the night and made plans for the remaining days that Steve was visiting. The next morning, they bundle up and take the truck and ATV out to Beluga Lake. It seemed the whole town was there and they welcomed Steve as if he were one of them. As the day passed, Steve and Bailey drank and had fun. The rest of the week was a blur of the same activities. Bailey and Steve fished and drank, rode ATV's and drank, and went out to bar hop all over Homer. Bailey always had a little more of a good time when her family came to visit. They were all a wild bunch and always knew how to have a great time. The last night, Bailey and Steve were out yet again, drinking and cutting up. John sat in a corner of the bar they had entered and watched. He was more than concerned about Bailey's actions this whole week. It seemed everyone was talking about how much fun Bailey was and how drunk she was the whole week. John didn't want to deal with that kind of girlfriend and didn't like what he saw. Just then, someone slapped Bailey in the butt. She froze and wheeled around quickly kicking the man squarely in the chest. The man fell back onto the floor and chaos ensued, people started punching and kicking each other. John stood to go after Bailey to keep her from harm, but saw Steve grab Bailey by the waist and carry her out of the bar. John frowned and headed outside to escape the fighting and to talk to Bailey.

"Bailey, wait!" John called after her.

Bailey stopped and turned. "Hey John!"

"Bailey, we need to talk." John said calmly.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Heeeeeeyyyyy! Whatchoo dooin', John?" Bailey drawled in her drunken rich southern accent. "I have missssssed you ssssssooooo muuuch!"

Steve, who had stopped behind her, chuckled lightly. "Lady, you need to stop drinking." Steve chided.

John looked at Steve with an expression that said he agreed. "Bailey, can we talk seriously?"

Bailey smiled. "John, I really looove you with all of my heart, but I am wayyyyy to drunk to talk right now. Call again sooon!" Bailey giggled at her corny joke.

John frowned and nodded. "Ok. But we talk tomorrow. I'm serious."

Bailey stretched up and planted a kiss on John's lips. "Ok. See you then. Love you!"

Bailey and Steve walked off to grab a waiting cab. As they got in, Bailey laughed. "He so bought the too drunk thing!"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Why did you do that? You could have said something else."

Bailey shrugged and looked down at her hands. "I was scared of what he might say. I can't believe I told him I love him…I do, but I didn't want to tell him like that." Bailey sat back and looked out the window.

"Well hun, you are my favorite cousin and I would hate to see you get hurt. You should give him a try. You never know, he may be the one you have always looked for." Steve said, trying to reason with Bailey.

"True. I'm scared to take the chance. You know the hell men have put me through. Even my own best friend! I am not sure I want to risk getting hurt in anyway again." Bailey told Steve.

She wasn't sure how things were going to work out and she wasn't sure she wanted to risk her heart again, but she knew she had to do something. She was going to lose the man she loved if she kept pushing him away and she knew it.

1

The next morning, John paced in his living room. He stayed up all night thinking about those three little words Bailey said. "I love you." Those three words rocked him to the core and made him feel like a young man again. That's what she did to him. She made him feel young. She was a mystery still; there was so much about her he didn't understand. John knew she had bad experiences with the men in her life. Two of which had treated her badly with him in the middle. She seemed to draw in these bad people that want to hurt her.

John stopped pacing. No, he wasn't a bad person. He was what she called "free spirited". He did what he wanted, when he wanted, how he wanted…maybe that was the problem. He started obsessing even more then. He couldn't help but think that maybe she was turning in to "that" woman. The woman that seemed cool with him for a while and then decided that his life style didn't fit hers and tries to change him. Well he wasn't going to let that happen. He stalked to the door and walked out to his truck. He was going to end this before it started.

2

Bailey climbed back into her truck wiping the tears that were rolling down her face. She had dropped Steve off at the airport and as usual, it was an emotional farewell. Steve had always been the only guy to treat her like she was important. She felt like she had to hide from him. He was a good guy and she loved her cousin. She was going to miss him. During their stay, he had mentioned getting married to his girlfriend. Bailey thought he was crazy, but thought that since he looked so happy; she would keep that to herself. They had long talks together when they weren't out partying. The whole week was a good therapy session for her. She found that she loved John and that even though she wasn't going to marry him, she was ok with that. She only wanted to be with him for as long as he would have her and she would be happy with that.

Bailey left the airport parking lot and headed home. She had some thinking to do about her relationship. She hoped that John would forget about the fact that he wanted to talk for at least a few days. She was in no mood to try to convince him that she didn't get that drunk all the time and that she only did so when family was around. It was kind of like a tradition. Maybe even a contest of who could drink longer and who would pass out first. The tradition started when her gram died and since then they all got together on her birthday to remember her. Maybe that was why they did it. Bailey couldn't tell any more. She used to think that they drank like fish to merely tolerate each other, because when her family drank, they loved every one. They were an "I love you, man" bunch of people. Bailey chuckled to her self.

"What a funny, screwed up bunch of people…." Bailey said out loud.

3

John pulled up in Bailey's drive the same time Bailey did. They both walked in to the house quietly, both thinking about their own problems. Bailey sat on the couch and smiled at John. She motioned him to come sit beside her and he did. He sat for a minute looking at Bailey. She appeared to have been crying. He could only guess that her cousin had left and the goodbyes were tough. That or she was really hung over. Which ever, he couldn't determine and wouldn't ask. He didn't want to be pulled in emotionally. He had to do this. He had to talk to her with out feeling bad. He licked his dry lips and began.

"Bailey, I think you and I are great together." John said.

"Wait, if you are going to propose, you can forget it. I love you, but I'm not going back to the life I had not one year ago. I let you be you because you let me be myself. I don't argue or fuss when you want to go out with friends or when you want to fly off to Mexico for some sun. In fact, because you love that, I will not stand in your way. I never have stood in your way and I never will. I was with someone who wanted me to change every thing about myself and never once liked who I was. Nothing was ever good enough for the guy! He always griped and grumbled and made me feel bad for who I was and what I was doing because it didn't match his morals and standards. He made me feel like I was a horrible person. You know, you never do that to me. I thank you and love you, but I will not marry you or anyone else." Bailey finally stopped to take a breath.

John sat back and looked at her, he was truly mystified by her. He could tell she meant every word. How could a woman like this fall into his lap like that? The only other people who accepted him like this were his family. Yet this woman, his Bailey wanted to be with him, flaws and all. She wanted to love him as long as he would have her. What really confused him was that she never wanted to marry. Why?

"Why aren't you like all of these other women I have dated? The ones who claim they don't want me to change but months later, change their mind." John asked.

"Hun, I just told you why. I don't want to be treated like that again and wouldn't want to treat anyone like that either. If I didn't like who you were or accept what you do for a living, I would have let you go months ago. The reason I keep pushing away is because of the ghosts of my past. If you are willing to stick with me, I will work them out. I promise." Bailey said as she scooted closer to John. Bailey grabbed John's hands and looked deep into his eyes. "You have more concerns, I see it in your eyes. Spill."

John sighed and looked down. "The other night when you were out with your cousin. I noticed and heard that you were very drunk all week. You were in bars almost every day of the week and if you were not in the bars, you were at the lake drinking like a mad woman. I know what that kind of life leads to. I don't want to be with someone just like me…"

"Hold on!" Bailey interrupted. "You mean to tell me that if my family comes up to visit or I go to visit them, I can't go have fun when they're around? You know I don't do that regularly! I am nothing like you! I don't smoke; I don't drink like that almost every night or every time I go to the bar unlike you. What the hell Johnathan?"

John sat back now more confused about his feelings than ever. He had to get out of here and clear his mind. He couldn't think straight. Before he got here, he was determined and his mind was set on breaking up with her. But what she had said was now buzzing through her head. He did let her be who she was. She did the same for him. Now he was telling her he didn't like what she was doing when he does the same thing on a much regular basis than she does. He had to leave, now.

"I have to go clear my head. I'll call you." John said as he stood up and pressed a kiss to Bailey's forehead. He walked out the door like he had been a caged lion. He was determined to go somewhere, any where other than right there, right then. He couldn't breathe.

4

John walked in to the wheelhouse of the Time Bandit and sat in his chair and lit a cigarette. Half way through his cigarette, Andy walks in and sits in the chair opposite of John. For about twenty minutes, neither man say a word. Finally, Andy sighs and crosses his arms while looking at John. "So, you never come in here these days unless you are working or have something to think about. I don't see you working, so…." Andy let his words drop.

"Yeah. I'm thinking all right. I'm thinking that I almost ruined a good thing because of the same old stupid fears that I have with every woman. Are they going to try to change me, are they going to be here when I get back, will she get lonely while I'm gone and find another? You know, those fears and thoughts. But Bailey, she's different. She scares me. She calls me on my bullshit and I call her on hers. She takes it well and she is 100% herself all the time. Yeah, she's a little screwed up. I get it. I am too. Yeah, she has a ways to go with her therapist. She is perfect for me despite all of that." John confessed to Andy.

"Sounds to me like you are both a match made in heaven. You can't get a better woman than that. Oh, and hot to boot." Andy whistles and shakes his head. "Go get her and never let her go. If you don't I know of plenty of men who would want her. Doubt any of them can handle her like you do though." Andy laughed.

John jumped up from his seat and marched towards the stairs of the boat. He smiled and punched Andy in the arm as he walked past. "That's for saying my girl is hot and I am sure imagining her naked." John smiled and walked to the exit of the boat.

Andy chuckled and rubbed his arm. "I am now..." Andy said to himself as he got up and left a few minutes later.

5

John jumped in his truck and pulled out of the parking lot near the dock. He looked around for traffic and spotted Bailey's truck close to the end of the spit. He made the decision to go looking for her then. He parked next to her truck and spotted her sitting on the rocks looking out at the bay. She always loved to look out at the water. He made a mental note to take her out fishing one day. He climbed out of the truck and walked over to Bailey. She stiffened and turned towards the sound of his feet crunching on the rocks.

"Oh, hi." Bailey said and turned back towards the water.

"Hey." John said as he sat next to her.

They both sat there in silence not knowing what to say, both too stubborn to start the conversation. John was the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said. I know you don't drink as much as you did when Steve was here. I was letting my fears and insecurities get in the way. I will try to not do that next time." John apologized to Bailey.

Bailey turned to John and stared at him, still to stubborn to give in just yet. She loved him, but she needed to hear that he loved her. He had not really said it yet and she wanted to hear it instead of feeling his love for her. She pleaded with her eyes for him to continue talking. John stood and reached for her hand. She grabbed his hand and he pulled her up to stand in front of him. John wrapped his arms around Bailey's waist and hugged her close. They stood there like that for what seemed an eternity. Finally, John loosened his grip so he could look down at her beautiful eyes. Her eyes, and her beauty mesmerized him. He realized that he had always been since the day they bumped into each other at Duggan's bar. He knew then that he really, truly loved her.

"Bailey, if you never want to get married, I won't ever ask. But can I ask you to be in my life for as long as you want me there? Because I love you, I have from the day we met and I always will." John asked Bailey.

"Of course I will, as long as YOU will have me. I love you John and there's nothing that will change that." Bailey smiled and as John's lips crashed on to hers, she cried with pure joy.

FIN


End file.
